When Being Capable Leads to Burnout with Anneliese Reeves

Being the capable one can feel like a superpower, until you realise it has started running your life. We’re joined by Anneliese Reeves, a pastor, event manager, mum of five, and former chief operating officer, to talk about the hidden pressure many women carry when competence becomes identity and productivity turns into armour.

Anneliese shares the story behind her forthcoming book Chaotic And Competent, shaped by years of raising kids, leading teams, and learning to laugh through the mess. Together we tease out a hard truth: what we call “being responsible” is sometimes control in a polished outfit. We explore how self-reliance can creep in, why your capacity doesn’t determine your calling, and what it looks like to surrender decisions, timelines, and outcomes to God without switching your brain off.

We also get practical with faith-based organisation and time management that works in real life: priorities you can revisit, lists that serve you rather than shame you, saying no without guilt, and letting other people help without feeling like you’ve failed. Mel shares a discernment moment where the right questions revealed a job offer’s true cost, and we talk about choosing peace, family, and flexibility over quick fixes that lead to burnout.

Website: https://www.anneliesereeves.com

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TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@anneliesereeves 

If you’re craving Christian productivity that’s rooted in abiding rather than striving, press play. Subscribe, share with a friend who carries too much, and leave a review so more women can find the conversation. 

Transcript

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Welcome And Guest Introduction

Mel 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode of Beyond Organised. I have Anneliese here today. And Anneliese is a pastor, event manager, mum of five, author of the forthcoming book Chaotic and Competent as well. Very competent lady, definitely. Her background spans corporate leadership, healthcare, and the not-for-profit sector, including working as a chief operating officer. She now brings that leadership and organizational experience to ministry, serving as a pastor and running events. Based in Newcastle, Australia, Anneliese knows firsthand what it means to balance family, faith, and a full calendar. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Great to be here. It's nice to have you here. It took a little bit of getting everything ordered, but we're here. We're here and I cannot wait to hear from you and learn more about you. So to kick it off, tell me a bit about yourself and what got you into everything that you're doing today.

Anneliese 1:59

Yeah, so I um I've been married to my husband for 28 years, and we have five children, which is awesome. And um yeah, we've lived in lots of different places, but are back in Newcastle, which is our home and where we love, and we even have two grandbabies now. So a new season, very exciting. Um, and yeah, with having five kids, I've always, you know, worked around what's worked for the family, and then most recently, as they've all become big, I worked as a COO running a medical practice and hospital group, and then really felt the call to step out of that and into ministry. So for the last little while, I've been working for our church and I run events, but I've done that for many years in lots of different sectors and capacities, and um, yeah, it's great. Wow.

Mel 2:47

I'm I'm firstly stumped on the fact that you've got great kids because I'm thinking you must have started having kids at like 12, right? You're married at 12. 19. Oh, you're 19? Yeah. Wow. That that makes sense. You're you're young, you still look very young. Thank you. And you look very good. And for five kids and doing all these things, you must have handled the stress pretty well.

Anneliese 3:16

Yeah, well, I like chaos clearly.

Mel 3:20

Uh

Why She Wrote The Book

Mel 3:21

well, I would love to hear a little bit more around the book that you mentioned and yeah, just how you're helping people through this.

Anneliese 3:29

Yeah, so I've recently just written a book. It's called Chaotic Incompetent, and for for many years, the book actually came about as for many years, like for the last 25 years, I used to send my grandma emails, and she's now 92. She is the keenest reader of anything I've ever written. And they would just be, you know, ridiculous, dramatic tellings of the everyday things that happen when you're raising kids. Um, vomiting bugs and losing children in shopping centres, and just all those kind of everyday things that happen, well, to me, that happened to me, they're ridiculous. And I guess I've always been quite good at being able to laugh at myself and at those things, even though sometimes you're crying in the moment that those things are happening. So for many years, people had said you should write a book, you should write a book. And yeah, at the end of last year, I thought, well, maybe I should. And so I reworked a lot of those original emails and then added a whole lot of things. And I'd also just discovered along the journey, obviously, my oldest child is 27, our youngest is 14. So we've been doing this parenting thing for quite a while. And I just started to recognise in myself and in other women around me that we so often can use competence or whatever skill set we have and let it become our identity, but also become armour. It's it's our default, it's what we, you know, default to. And I don't want to be walking in that armor. I actually want to be walking in the peace of God and in all that He's called me to be and not striving. And so the book came about in telling all those ridiculous moments that are funny and sometimes deeply personal and were kind of hard to write about, but hoping to be able to help other women to be able to look at what armor we're using, what are we trying to protect ourselves with instead of actually relying on God to carry us?

Mel 5:14

Oh,

When Competence Turns Into Armour

Mel 5:15

I am loving that, but also completely resonating to what you're saying. And you know, it's only this year that I've really come to the realization of that armor that you're talking about. Because I thought that I was being responsible, right? Like over certain areas. I thought I was being responsible by having certain things controlled. Yes. And the Lord very quickly revealed to me that it was fear and not wanting to surrender to him.

Anneliese 5:45

Absolutely.

Mel 5:45

And with that though, it's like, but even the Bible does ask us to be responsible and all of that too. Definitely. But not at the expense of letting him be God first.

Anneliese 5:58

Absolutely. And I think when you are capable and competent, and I think when you're a woman who carries a lot for a lot of us, it just becomes that unspoken kind of default. And when when you think, well, it would be easier for me to handle it myself, or it would be easier to take this on. And I guess that's what I've been learning that my cat my capacity doesn't determine my calling. And just because I can pick it up or carry it doesn't mean it's mine to do that with. So I think we say we're good at surrender, but our you know, five minutes later it's like, well, Lord, let me just take that back off your hands for you.

Mel 6:33

I know, right? It's it is one of those ongoing need to get back into that state. For someone like me, I it's been trained into me now to be organized and responsible and all these things, and to then yeah, have to step back and okay, sorry, God, you do you, and you know what's better for me more than me or my family or whatever the situation is, and just have to kind of let it go.

Anneliese 7:03

Absolutely. And it is a constant, I mean, that's part of walking with Jesus. You know, we're always um working to be more like him and to be led by the spirit in that. But yeah, so I think being aware of it is a really good starting point. And even though I've written a whole book about it, I still most days I'm like, hey, actually, you picked that back up and it wasn't yours to carry. And sorry, God, let me just surrender it again and again and again.

Mel 7:26

So when you were going through all of this and obviously just what you've learned across your life, what is something that you think is a real key point that you would love the women listening to know?

Anneliese 7:40

Yeah, I think um I think the key point is, like I said, just because you can carry everything or feel like you can carry everything doesn't mean that you should. And, you know, the closer we walk with God, the the easier it is to hear his voice and actually feel that prompting of hang on, this isn't mine to do. But often, like you said, what looks like what we call responsibility or being capable or just you know, doing everyday life is actually control dressed up in a fancy outfit. And and that's what we need to recognize because it's it's in trusting God and in surrendering to him. And also it's that self-reliance. And some of us get really good at it because that's all we've ever known, but it's it's learning that we were never called to be self-reliant. We're meant to be reliant and dependent on God, our Father and our Savior. And so it's it's constantly resetting. And yeah, that's that's a big one.

Mel 8:34

It can be difficult when life's circumstances just reinforce that need to not trust anyone else but yourself and all those other things that you do hear out there of like no one else is gonna do it for you, you gotta do it yourself, and all these kind of things. And there's an element of truth to it, but that's also how the enemy works, right? He does things in half-truths, and because it makes a level of sense, but you're missing the key ingredient, which is God, and he can he can do so much more than our circumstance can dictate and in who we are with things. Do you think as women we make things unnecessarily harder than it needs to be because we are trying to do it all ourselves?

Anneliese 9:24

I think

Control Disguised As Responsibility

Anneliese 9:25

so. And I think um that's something I recognized in myself for a long time. I feel like I am quite capable and I have a large capacity and I am used to juggling a lot of things. And so I want to do it myself because I figure it will be quicker and easier and it will be basically done the way I want it to be. Because us control enthusiasts, well, we don't confess that it's a control thing, I want it done my way. And so then we isolate ourselves, we put extra pressure on ourselves, and it does become an identity thing, whereas our identity needs to be in Christ and who we are created to be, not in what we do. And I think that the learning to ask for help and learning to let other people do it, even not just for our own benefit, but I've found that in my roles as a leader, there are some things I could do for myself, but it's having to step back and let other people do it. And the same in being a mum, you have to do this because you're actually not equipping anybody else if you do everything. You're burning yourself out and exhausting yourself. But you're all even that aside, you're just not making room for anybody else to grow or learn or develop. And that is a challenge as a mum and as a leader to walk alongside people and let them get it wrong and let them do it a bit clunkily or slowly and support them in that. When inside you're like, ah, I hear you. That is a learning process that I've had to go through because yeah, I don't want, I don't want everyone, I don't want everything to have to depend on me. And obviously, if we put that limit on our families and our workplaces and our ministry, then we're actually really limiting what God can do because we can only do so much as one person, regardless of how amazingly capable and competent we are. So we have to bring other people on the journey.

Mel 11:07

Definitely, because we end up being the bottleneck. We end up being that part where it all slows down and it stops and it's got to go through us. And ultimately, it's too much. And I think I worked out earlier on, particularly being a team leader and having been in leadership roles. I worked out earlier on not to have things relying on me and to raise up certain people in the team to take on different things as well, and it helps them grow all of that. And yet it still took me a while for me to apply that at home with my kids. It's like it was all going through me to the point where I had a breakdown. Yeah, absolutely. Doesn't help anyone. Mind you, my kids were pretty little back then. I'd only had two at that point, but I'm glad I learned it early on enough. And now I've got four, and the older ones anyway, are doing a lot more around the place. But I want them by the time they are 18, or whenever they decide to move out and leave, I want them to know how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of themselves and also take care of their family one day.

Anneliese 12:20

So absolutely. And as a as a mum, that's our our job, right? Like it isn't just to um love our kids and do everything for them. It's actually to raise and equip them to be fully functioning members of society. And so um, I have very independent children, but a lot of that has come, you know, our youngest, um, like our oldest is 27, our youngest is 14. So she has grown up around much older people and she is fiercely independent, even to the point where sometimes I would like her to let me do something. But um it's it's that walking alongside them, teaching them how to, you know, apply for things as they start to become teenagers and want to apply for jobs, and not doing it for them, but actually being like, Well, I want you to be able to do this on your own and you can do it better than I ever would. So um, yeah, walking it out though is still hard some days.

Raising Independent Kids Who Trust God

Mel 13:09

Yeah, yeah. And I'm I was very privileged that my mum did do everything for my sister and I growing up, and it I didn't realise until I became an adult how much that stopped me and handicapped me because I didn't even know how to use a washing machine. Yeah, and I it's embarrassing to almost say that now. But back then, you know, my mum very much acts of service kind of love language, and so she did that, and she was happy enough to do that. Uh, I was grateful for it, and I was going to school or working and whatever else, but I don't want that to happen with my kids. Yeah, definitely. I I am an acts of service kind of person too, but I've also understand that through loving them, I need to equip them too, and not just in the physical things, in the spiritual things too. Some of the conversations we have, and my kids are 10 down to two, so forget about the two-year-old for a minute. But the other three, you know, some of the conversations we're having is on a deeper level than I could have ever imagined having a conversation when I was a kid. Yeah. But I I know I needed that as a kid too. I needed to help understand what was going on, even in the spiritual realm, because I was very sensitive to things spiritually too. And I was just told, ah, it's in your head, it's just a bad dream, it's just this, just that. And it's like, no, there's there's very real things going on. And so not scaring them, but equipping them and helping them understand the authority they've got as a child of God. And it has been really good to see them process and ask questions, and they go from being scared of the dark to being warriors in the dark, you know, and just like praying against any of that fear and speaking against it, or you know, it's just like, oh, I just I get so excited.

Anneliese 15:13

Oh, absolutely. And that's the thing. And for me, obviously, I've done a lot of things and I live a very um full life, but the the biggest legacy that I want to leave is that my kids all walk with Jesus. And a while ago, my my daughter and her husband and grandbaby, they live in Canberra, and we're up in Newcastle in New South Wales, and she was up visiting one weekend and she was in church standing next to me, and she leaned over during worship and she said, Thank you so much for raising us in the house of God. And now my grandchildren are being raised in the house of God. And, you know, that wasn't always easy prioritizing that when you've got five kids, but now I watch how they're walking with Jesus because it was so intentional. And again, it was having the conversations, it was making God accessible and relatable to every part of their lives, not just, hey, we're Christians, but it's like, all right, you're having a problem with friendship, let's pray about it. What does the Bible say? How are we actually gonna, you know, deal with this with every single thing and stage of life so that now as they're adults and the the issues become much bigger, um, their default is to go to Jesus first. Yeah. So I'm grateful that they're the calls we made, you know.

Mel 16:23

Yeah, well, definitely, and uh also juggling all of that whilst working and keeping the household going and all of that, like it is a big task. There's a lot to do there. Absolutely. But it's saying that I'm always thinking of the end goal too. And it's like I don't want to be spending eternity without the people I love. Yeah, definitely. I just don't. And another reason why I had four kids, you know, I want more grandkids. I want the I want the whole way, I want it all. You know, I want to have a a big family with me in heaven, you know. I but I also I want to make the most of the life here as well. It's not just about that, but yeah, it helps keep things in perspective a bit when sometimes work gets a bit overwhelming or other circumstances come up, it's like, nope, I need to spend this moment with my child and have them process this thing, and that's the priority right now, work and wait, whatever it is. Oh, well, I would love to hear, given how much you have gone through in life and all your different career things and the book and your family and all of that.

Priorities Lists And Learning To Say No

Mel 17:35

How have you managed to stay organized as a person?

Anneliese 17:40

Well, my book is called Chaotic and Competent. So I am both super organized, but also likely to trip over my own feet in public. So I'm super organized in some areas. Like I can plan an event. I'm a list maker. I don't know how people do life without lists. Yeah, my phone has a million notes, my reminders have a million things happening, and I still love an old-fashioned paper list. So um I know I've got my absolutely. And I think for me, it's always been, you know, when life is really full, which it has been, we've had five kids, different health challenges, work, like all of the things is what are our priorities, you know, what what are the big balls that we can't drop, and what are the little ones that it's not going to matter if they sort of fall away. So um, regularly having those moments to sort of reset and look at what are my priorities? Are we drifting too far from what what I'm supposed to be focused on? And I think in that busy season of motherhood, that was something that I could always come back to. It's like, well, I might feel that God's calling me to do this or to do that. Um, but I know that he's called me to raise and invest in these children. And so that always has helped frame my yes. It doesn't mean that I said no to loads of things and only did that, but when deciding what to say yes to, it was like, okay, for each season as we've gone through raising kids, is this gonna work around our family? And you know, our kids, now that they're adults, have said, you know, it was so great watching how you served in this or watching how you did that. And now I'm watching them with the same capacity and be able to minister and serve in their different areas because of that. So I'm glad that I still said yes to things, but it always came back to, well, hang on, I know that I'm called to raise them. So they're already here. They're already here. Everything else, I will I, you know, God still called me to do loads of great things, but make sure that it all works around each other. And I think one of the biggest things is learning to say no. We are so good at saying yes. And five or ten years ago, I would have said yes to most things that were asked of me, even if on the inside I felt like I was close to collapse and everything else. But that's something that I've learned. And it actually means I'm able to do a lot more now because I say no to other things. It means that I'm comfortable in a meeting when someone asks who's gonna do this role, and I feel quietly and don't say yes, even though in my head I'm like, I could do that.

Mel 20:00

Yeah.

Anneliese 20:01

So, but for me, that comes back to abiding, like that is a word that has really ministered to me over the last few years. You know, John 15 talks about God is the vine and we are the branches. And if you think about a tree that produces fruit, it doesn't strive to produce fruit, it just stays connected and the fruit. And so for me to stay organized and juggle all the different things and make sure that I'm not stepping too far outside what I'm actually called to do, it's that abiding, it's staying connected to the vine and making sure that you know I'm being true to who God's called me to be and what he's called me to do and not getting sidetracked. But also for me, my natural default would be to strive. It would be to make things happen and to try and take control and try and fast track things. And that has been an uncomfortable process to learn that I actually am so much more fruitful when I just abide and don't try and produce the fruit myself.

Mel 20:58

I love everything you're saying, and it's so funny because I literally I did an episode a couple months ago now, but I said the same thing on the whole vine and branches, and we don't need to be the ones producing fruit, we just need to remain connected to the Lord. And I I love that whole thing.

A Job Offer That Tested Discernment

Mel 21:16

But it's interesting because I recently was approached for a job. Like that this business wanted to hire me, and I do have employed work outside of my business to try and keep the bills going for now. And this new position, it really ticked a lot of boxes on the surface. And I would have brought in a lot more money, it would have given me more time back that I could put into my business, all these other things. But there were a few questions that, like, as I was praying about it, I was like, Oh wow, Lord, like, did you bring this to me? Because I didn't even go looking for it. Like, did you bring it to me? And it kind of looks like it's ticking the boxes. And he goes, I want you to ask these questions. Like, okay, so I wrote them down and then they asked me, Do you have any questions? I was like, actually, I've got a few. And when I went through them, every single answer they gave me made me feel sick almost. Like I did not like what they were saying. And even in my mind, I'm thinking, this doesn't sound like what they originally said it was going to be. Even to the point where I could have ended up leaving a very stable job with good income that allows me to do my business, which I know is my ultimate goal, is to do this and replace that other one. I could have risked all of that and been without a job in three months. Like I it was just all these things, and I'm like, okay, thank you, Lord. Thank you for giving me the right questions to ask. Because by the end of it, I was really hoping to be excited because they were pretty much offering me the job. And uh I had to go back around and say, well, thank you so much for your time and for reaching out to me. But I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna take it. Doesn't work for me because when I look at it, like you're saying, when you're weighing it up that you know your kids were for you in that season and had to work with that, I will burn out doing that job. Yeah. And I would, if anything, be taken away from my business, even though I would have more time for it. I would be so exhausted that I wouldn't be able to do it. Um, I would have no flexibility around the kids. I'd be going back to like set lunch breaks and all that stuff. And I've moved away from all of that. I don't want to go back to that, you know? And it's just like I'm not gonna get greedy. I'm not gonna think of the money and just be like, well, it would solve all our problems. Because yes, that money probably would solve a lot of our problems, but it would also create a lot more. And it's just not worth it. And you know, I'm still believing that God will bring in the money. I'm hoping it's through the business more as it takes off. I'm getting more clients, which is good. But you just you have to weigh it up and go, well, I know without doubt that God has put these four children in my life and they are the priority right now. And if this work is going to take away from being able to just be available, like at the moment, I can go to their school plays and assemblies and little things at daycare and Mother's Days and whatever else they've got on. I've got the flexibility in my work to be able to do all those things right now.

Anneliese 24:34

Yeah.

Mel 24:34

If I it yeah, it has to work with my family and my life at this point. And so I like what you're saying because I feel like I'm very similar to you. I am very much a just work harder, strive, all of that, and then having to pull back and go, okay, God, sorry. I'm going to just let you do your thing, and I will just trust you and just stay connected and abide and settle in.

Anneliese 25:02

And he's faithful. He's always faithful. You know, I became a Christian when I was 14. And so, how old am I now? Old. So over 30 years. And in all of that time, you know, we've had so many different seasons where we needed provision and we, you know, it's been 11th hour, but he's always been faithful. And it's through those harder seasons where you're like, God, I need you to come through in my business or with my kids or whatever else that has dug that deep well where you go deeper, but then it makes it easier to walk in the next season where you need to trust his faithfulness. But he's good.

Mel 25:34

Well, this is, I'm gonna say this has been the hardest year of my life on a lot of levels. The hardest year, but I have probably grown the most this year out of quite a number of them combined. The levels that I have gone to, I probably would never have gotten to had I not said yes to when he called me to do this business. Yeah. More than anything. I was not expecting it to be so hard, but I also wasn't expecting that I even needed to learn so much or grow so much as a person. And just yeah, it's been nuts, but at the same time, I wouldn't change it. I just wouldn't change it for what I know now and how I'm connected even deeper with him and with my family, and you know, the things that matter. Yeah, ah man, it it's challenging because I I had no plans to start this business a couple years ago. My youngest was seven weeks old when the Lord called me to start She's Organized and do the podcast, Beyond Organized, all of that. And I was like, no, I don't, I don't think so. I don't think this is a good idea. But he went through and he told me, and he's just like, I've asked other people before you, and they've said no. Well, they've started and quit. I'm asking you, it's not gonna be easy, but it will be rewarding, and you will get everything that you need at the times that you need it, but I need your obedience, yeah, and you need to trust me. And I'm just like, well, I can't really say no to the one who's given me everything anyway, you know. And in agreement with my husband, he agreed to because it impacts him as well. And even this year, when we've really, you know, the money all dried up, everything dried up, it it was all just really intense. And even Sam, my husband, was a bit like, oh, do we need to re-evaluate this? I said, Well, we're better off selling the house or moving home, like doing other things because the Lord hasn't asked me to stop doing this.

Anneliese 27:47

Yeah. So, and I mean, that theme, like you just have to read your Bible to see that, you know, everyone that God used went through those seasons of hang on a second, did we hear you right, God? And have we got this right? And again, when you when you're walking in your calling, it doesn't mean that it's gonna be easy. And when you're abiding, you know, I find that I feel a lot more peace when I'm in that space, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't come without discomfort and there's pruning and all those other things that um aren't easy necessarily. Yeah, but God's faithful, and so it's definitely the best place to be.

Mel 28:20

I just said to Sam, I'm like, I'm just currently living my hero story, as they call it. Um, this is the hard part. I'm just living through it, but it's not always going to be this way. But I know that we know that we serve a good God, and I also know now that I needed to go through a lot of this to learn to surrender, let go of control, not have to work harder to bring in more money or whatever. We are, well, as of recording this, end of August, and we have made it through the years so far when every month I didn't think we would, but here we are, and we are okay. And I needed to learn a lot of these things because yes, I help people budget and organize their finances and things like that. I know the theory. Yeah, theory can even go so far when God has his own plans and what he wants to teach you and he wants to redirect you or whatever it is, you can budget all you like. He's still gonna teach you the lesson. So it's been humbling, but it's been good. And anyway, sorry, enough about me.

Protecting Time From Phones And Drift

Mel 29:36

It's good. So would you say that in your current season, in everything that you're doing, that you're getting enough time for the things that are important for you?

Anneliese 29:49

Yeah, I think um, I think we have to carve out time in whatever season we're in. And I think whatever season we're in, it's easy to say I'm too busy to do this or to do that. But someone said to me, you know, if someone says that to you, we'll ask them, Do you have a couple of TV shows you can recommend? Like, because we all will still find time to watch TV or scroll on our phones or do those things. So it's more about aligning our priorities. And I I am guilty of those things, don't get me wrong, but I would never use the I'm too busy or this, you know, as an excuse. Maybe I maybe I'd say it out loud, but I'd know deep too that I could actually prioritize some time. So I think I feel very free in a lot of ways when you've got little kids and you're physically exhausted and you're not getting a lot of sleep, it's a different season to where I'm at now. So for the mamas with the young ones, like I remember that and it it goes quick. Before you know it, you pass that. And so now I feel like I do have a lot more time to to, but it's also about being intentional because there are so many things out there to try and distract us and steal our time. And for me, yep, it'll be the phone or something else. So keeping a really clear set of, well, what's my goal? What am I working on? Um, what am I working towards? Because with whatever spare time I've got, I can either choose to spend it scrolling on my phone or actually investing in growing myself or you know, writing a book or doing whatever it is that you're doing. So you've got to just keep keep resetting. Hang on, is this the best use of my time? Is this what God's called me to do right now?

Mel 31:22

I completely agree. You are saying all the things I love to hear. I say a lot. I love that. So, what does order look like within the work that you do today?

Letting People Help Without Pride

Anneliese 31:35

So, for me, I think making sure you've got the right people around you is really important. Um, and like I said, that that was a process because I'm not great at asking for help. And, you know, I've got a big conference coming up this weekend that I've been working on. And um, so it's been a busy week, all the details, I've got a million lists running. I'm working with loads of different teams and people and lots of competing priorities and deadlines. Um, and someone messaged me this week and they said, Hey, we're praying for you. Um, do you need any help? And 10 years ago, my answer would have been, no, I'm all good. I've got juggling all these balls. I'm fine, I'm fine, is you know, my catch cry. But I was like, actually, yes, I would love your help. So for me, and and that's a that's a pride thing as well, because when you create um that identity around competence and being the one that can handle things and get everything done and manage, you know, the kids and work and ministry and all the different things. Um, again, that's where you default to self-reliance. But I don't want to be walking in that pride or um that sort of thing. So it's actually, yes, being vulnerable and being vulnerable is so uncomfortable. I hate it. But um, we're not called to be silos and live alone. We're actually called to live in fellowship with each other, and so I'm getting better and I'm recognizing that now where I can um, you know, ask for help. Like for me, a meal train is my worst nightmare. Like making a meal for someone else, a hundred percent. But someone making me a meal, I'm like, oh, that's horrendous. I have to be letting someone help me do something that I could actually do myself. And yeah, so it's trying to readjust that whole framework that I've built within myself to only be self-reliant. It's like people actually want to help you, they want to come alongside, they want to be part of things. So And they don't think less of you either. Definitely, definitely. Um, so yeah, that's that's a journey I've gone through where now to stay ordered and stay on top of all the things, I have all my lists, I have my priorities so that I can actually be like, well, that's a next week problem. I don't need to deal with that. Um, you know, I don't need to start that new project. I am I love starting new projects. So I've had to become quite disciplined in um in a time and a place for when I can start something new. I have to finish things first and stay on top of what has been entrusted to me um and let other people come on the journey of that.

Mel 33:59

Yeah, I'm relating so much to what you're saying, and even the fact that I started writing a book, but the Lord told me, no, no, no, stop. It's not like I I showed you that you're going to one day, but it's not now. Because I was like, oh great, let's get on it. And then I kind of wrote half of it. And he's like, you haven't even learnt the things that you needed to learn yet. And this was a year and a half ago.

Anneliese 34:26

Yeah.

Mel 34:27

And I look at how far I've come in a year and a half, and I'm like, now I get it. Now I get it. I'm just gonna wait until he says go, because I've learned a lot and I know there's still more to go, so I'm just gonna I'll wait. But it's hard waiting when it's like, you just, I don't know, you're like, I just want to get it done. Let's just do it.

Anneliese 34:47

Waiting's the worst. But if you're wired that way, if you're wired to, you know, make things happen and get things done. Some people it is not an issue for. For example, there are two kinds of people: the people that have to find out what they're having when they're having a baby, and those who are happy to wait the nine months. And I am of the first group. I have to know, like, I don't like not knowing things. And those are the people, I'm like, wow, it must be so nice to be that comfortable that you can just live at that level of peace with not knowing things. Now, clearly, that is an issue within me that I'm still working on.

Mel 35:19

But my husband is that other person wild. He tortured me with our first because they they wrote it down in an envelope. And he he didn't want to know, but I did. Even though I already kind of knew I knew we were having a boy because I dreamt about him for like years, right? So I was like, I was really sure, but I wanted that confirmation. You wanted the confirmation. And he's just like, if you can find the envelope, then you can open it and you can see. And he hid it, and I didn't realise he took it to the factory with him where he works. Um, it's a family business, so you know, I go in there from time to time. Apparently he took it there for a bit, but then towards the end, he just put it in his drawer in the bedside table. And I didn't think to look there again because I'd already looked there. And he he'd moved it around and I found it a week before I gave birth. And I'm like, you know what, I think I'm just gonna wait at this point. Yeah. Wait, I'm about to give birth anyway.

Anneliese 36:20

Look, then you were happy to wait that extra time. Yeah, I am not a happy person before I'm ever happy to wait. And so sometimes God makes us wait in really uncomfortable ways. So I am getting better at that as well. Some of these things you really do look back on, um, and I sound like I'm really old now, but I can see things that I can walk more easily, and again, because God's proven his faithfulness and that I can trust him, and um, you know, that his timing is perfect, even though it does not ever, very rarely align with my timing.

Mel 36:52

Yes, I know. Well, it's funny because I look at the fruits of the spirit, and if I was to picture all the different, you know, love, joy, peace, all of that is like different fruit, patience would probably be the smallest little sultana. Yeah. Like it's like it's a shriveled dry little thing. I'm like, I need to uh yeah, I know that I that it's and it's being worked on, and this year has been a good test in that. Yeah. But uh that's okay. Anyway, I I've talked long enough. We've

Where To Find The Book

Mel 37:25

talked long enough. I feel like I could talk to you all day though. I love everything you're saying, and it definitely aligns with everything that I say a lot too. But I I'm sure that you've got even more wisdom unpacked in your book, and I actually can't wait to get my hands on it. So I would love you to share with everyone where they can find you and when to expect the book. Or yeah.

Anneliese 37:47

Sure. So our the book is officially being launched on the 10th of October, which is exciting. So it's just being printed right now. You can order, you can pre-order it on anneliesereeves.com and you can follow me on social media that has all the updates about the book and the launch, um, which is anneliese.reeves on Instagram and Anneliese Reeves at Facebook and TikTok.

Mel 38:08

Yay, I'll make sure all the links are in the show notes to make it nice and easy for everyone. But thank you so much for your time, Anneliese. It was so lovely getting to know you. Thank you. It's been great. I mean, we really enjoyed it. Me too. I'm sure we'll have you back again one day once this book is out and you can give us an update on how it all goes. Yeah, I'd love that.

Anneliese 38:28

Thanks, Mel.

Mel 38:31

If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or for some free resources, head over to beyondorganised.com/toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.