Balance Isn't Static: It's a Constant Movement

What if everything you've been taught about balance is wrong? That's the question at the heart of this illuminating episode that challenges our traditional understanding of what balance really means—especially for busy mums.

Speaking with refreshing honesty (and admittedly exhausted from the demands of mothering four young children), Mel Schenker dismantles the myth that balance is some perfect equilibrium we eventually achieve. Instead, she reveals a liberating truth: balance is constant movement, like riding a bicycle or walking a tightrope. The moment you stop adjusting, you fall.

Through a vulnerable retelling of her own harsh epiphany—a Mother's Day spent crying in the bathroom after days of perfectionistic preparation for everyone but herself—Mel demonstrates how many women reach burnout by consistently putting themselves last. This pivotal moment led to the development of The Baltrix Method™, a practical framework that addresses five essential pillars of balance: time (your foundation), money and self-care (your walls) and home and work (your roof). When one area weakens, the entire structure becomes vulnerable.

What makes this approach revolutionary is its practicality and purpose. The goal isn't perfect organisation for its own sake, but rather creating space for what truly matters: meaningful connections with the people we love. Mel explains how self-care isn't selfish but essential maintenance—like putting on your oxygen mask first so you can help others effectively.

Whether you're struggling with exhaustion, overwhelm or simply feeling that something's off in your life, this episode offers both compassion and introduces strategies to start recalibrating today. Connect with Mel to begin your journey toward authentic, sustainable balance.

Chapters

• 0:18 Welcome to Beyond Organised
• 1:03 Honesty About Motherhood & Exhaustion
• 3:06 Redefining Balance as Constant Movement
• 6:43 The Mother's Day Harsh Epiphany
• 14:04 The Baltrix Method™: Five Pillars of Balance
• 21:54 Beyond Organising: Balancing for Connections
• 27:16 Looking Forward & Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Mel: 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised and, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real-life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like t parenting, relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Welcome back to today's episode.

Mel: 1:03

Today, I'm going to be jumping into what balance is and not what we've been told it is, but what it actually is and what that means for us mums. And before I jump into it, though, I'm going to be so honest with you. I am incredibly tired. I wasn't going to do this episode today. I thought I'm way too tired I can barely string two sentences together but then I thought about it more and the whole purpose of this podcast was to be real, to do life with you, to have you on the journey with me, but also so you can trust that, even though I'm still in the thick of this I actually do know what I'm talking about I do have strategies that actually help me, despite being bone dead tired. So I hope that you can forgive me if I do happen to say a few ums and I stutter here and there and I pause for a minute because I'm not editing this. I don't chop and change and throw a whole lot of stuff together. I keep this raw, like a conversation. Even though it is a little bit one-sided right now, it is a conversation and I want it to just be part of my day and this is what I am today. I am tired, so please forgive me if it doesn't come across very coherently but I will give it a good go because I really do want to get this message to you about balance, and I feel like today is a pretty good example of me showing you how balance can look, even when you are so exhausted. So here we go, I'm going to jump right in.

Mel: 3:06

So we get told often on social media in the world you know, even just looking at our friends' lives and how it all goes that we kind of get this image of balance being this destination that you get to that. Maybe it's taken quite a few years and you know trials and triumphs, but it's this end destination and you get there and life is easier. But that's not reality. That seems to be something that so many of us mums strive for, but that's not real. I'm sorry to break it to you. That's not real.

Mel: 3:50

But on my journey of trying to find more balance and less stress and overwhelm in my life, I realised that so many of us just look at balance wrong. Balance is not this static equilibrium, you know, like a seesaw, and you finally get somewhere in the middle and you just stop. It's like then what? What comes next? That's not how it actually goes.

Mel: 4:32

Balance is this constant movement, constant readjustment and realignment of our every day. It's an every day kind of thing and part of it's a choice, but a big part of it is how we set ourselves up and it can take time. It can take a little bit of time, but there are things you can do today to get it started and to take a little bit of that pressure off. So when I was going through this and trying to understand what balance actually is, I came across, I guess, a whole lot of different things, and you know, there was this one quote that I got from Einstein actually, "life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance, you must keep moving, and there was actually enough things out there that I go. Well, yeah, balance is movement. It is like riding a bike If you're walking a tightrope, you don't just stop, you fall off. It is a constant movement, a constant readjustment and realignment of how we take our steps so we can stay moving forward. And look, sometimes we fall off the bike, sometimes we fall off the rope let's hope it's not a very high one, but you do get back on and you keep going or you try again, because we're still alive and as long as there is breath in your lungs and another day has come, there is always hope and there is always a chance to achieve balance for that day. I hope that encourages you. So I want to give you a little bit of a background on me and part of what drove me to this balance.

Mel: 6:23

So I'd already been on this organising journey for quite a few years and doing pretty well at keeping things organised and, as I mentioned in the last episode, you know I had a bit of a breakdown moment at the expense of my kids. But there was this other time where it was Mother's Day. It was Mother's Day probably about three years ago now, and I had taken on the mantle of organising Mother's Day for, you know, my husband's family and for my family, and looking after everyone else, because you know, our mums were doing a lot too, even though it was their day, and I didn't want them to have to do so much. So I took it on, even though I'm a mum as well and I was not getting my own day. So, anyway, I had been cleaning for days in the lead up. You know, kids weren't even allowed to touch the walls, for goodness sake. It was like I was um, I really wanted it to be perfect and I have struggled with perfectionism for so long. So now I call myself a reformed perfectionist. It's still a work in progress. I still have my moments, particularly when I'm tired, but there was this time when everything just needed to be perfect, and it wasn't because I needed it to be perfect, it's because I wanted my mum, I wanted my mother-in-law, to have a really good day, because they deserved it and they still do deserve it.

Mel: 8:11

But in the process of cooking for days and cleaning for days and all of this and putting it all together on the day, the morning of you know, I'm trying to not get my kids to pull out any toys or get anything messy, because everyone's coming soon for lunch and I'm I was so overwhelmed I went into my bathroom and I just cried, I cried and I cried and I thought what am I doing? What am I doing to myself that I keep putting myself in these situations that are just so stressful, not enjoyable. And I mean, it's Mother's Day. I'm a mum, I should be enjoying this day. What's going on? And it just it felt unfair. But I really had no one to blame but myself.

Mel: 9:09

Why was I putting myself in these situations? No one else was putting it on me, I was putting it on me and it was a really tough day because, as everyone rocked up and lunch was being served and everyone's having a great time and commenting on how great everything is, you know my sister-in-law. I love her to death. She is incredible and she's a redhead as well. And she has kids too and she was thanking me for having them over for lunch and how nice it is that she didn't have to do anything on Mother's Day, and it was such a pure and beautiful comment. But it made me really upset and almost angry on the inside, and not at her but at myself again, cause I'm thinking, yeah, like everyone else gets to enjoy their mother's day. And here I am again, not about me, like it's not about me again. And you know, that day was a day that kind of pushed me a bit further again, because it was another Mother's Day that I never received a gift.

Mel: 10:28

My husband, he is amazing, he is wonderful and he does so much with the kids and I can't complain, but bless him, he really didn't get it. That even I'll jump to it. But pretty much I said to him because I was and I was done, I was so done and I was like, yep, I'm not your mum, but I'm the mother of our children and they're too young to get me anything or do anything for me. That's your job. And he was so sorry he had just not even thought about it before. And look, I know some of you are probably going to be like what? That's ridiculous, how could he? But I will say he is someone that you know, working an 80 hour week and then coming home and being present with the kids, and all that is so normal for him. Like, I do not blame him at all and I never said anything. I never said anything earlier. And sometimes we think, oh, surely they know, surely they understand, and why do I need to say anything? But I'm telling you understand, and why do I need to say anything? But I'm telling you, sometimes we just need to communicate it and then see what happens after that. Now, look, he went out, he got me flowers, he did that and he's looked after me every year since. But that day was full on and it all came out.

Mel: 12:20

But more than anything, I was annoyed at myself. How could I let myself get to a state where I look after everyone, like making it perfect for everyone, and I can't even? I just can't look after myself. I felt guilty, I felt selfish, like no, no, it should be about my mum, it should be about my mother-in-law, it should be about everyone else but not me. Why, why? I mean, it seems so silly saying it now, but that's just that's where I was at. I just never thought about myself.

Mel: 13:06

And that was a moment when I really started to question balance and I really had none. I was so out of balance with things like, yeah, I was getting more organised and I was getting more on top of everything, but when it came to me and my own self-care, my own moments of peace and rest, it didn't exist. And if I thought, hey, I want to have a break, I almost felt guilty for it. It's just, it shouldn't be like this, because it was getting to a point where the fact that I wasn't looking after myself, I wasn't actually looking after everyone else properly, I was putting expectations on them that were never theirs to begin with. And oh, okay, yes, some things bringing it up with my husband about the you know, mother's day and all of that.

Mel: 14:05

Some good things came out of it too, but it could have been done in a way that wasn't having me at a snapping point and, um, look, we, we don't always get it right, but one thing I really did get out of that that I always knew, but I didn't always implement was the importance of just communicating, just saying, hey, this is what's upsetting me, this is what's bothering me. I don't know if it's justified, I don't, but this is where I'm at, and then see how they respond. You know, you can't just assume that your partner or your parents or your friend, or whoever it is, just knows what you're thinking. Yeah, maybe, once you've told them, they think, oh goodness, I should have realised this. But you need to give them a chance. You need to actually express how you're feeling with kindness and compassion. But unless you have that conversation, you can't blame it entirely on them is what I'm trying to get at.

Mel: 15:21

So, in this pursuit of balance and trying to understand how I make this work in my everyday life and now I've got four kids, you know, I've got a now nine-year-old, six-year-old, a three-year-old and a baby and balance is still being recreated every day as to what that looks like, because as the seasons change, as I've had more children, as I've gone back to work, all that kind of stuff balances look different. Now, the best way I found to make things work in the everyday wasn't to have more systems, wasn't to be more organised, believe it or not, it was actually to carry less, and the more that I dug around and really started to understand what it was that I needed, I actually came across five areas of my life that really needed to have a level of cohesion for me to function well, and, as time has gone on, this has thankfully been able to help a lot of other women out there in finding their balance too. So I have come up with what . Now, the Bell Tricks method is well, I came up with that word because it's a combination of balance and matrix. So it's not just some airy fairy concept of balance. There's an actual strategy and somewhat formula behind it. Now, if you're someone like me who likes to have some more facts and some more data and some actual practical and some actual practical, tangible things to get your hands on, then this is for you, because I am that person. I like data, I like facts. You can't argue with it and that's what I've come up here with. So, with the Bell Tricks method, there's sort of a breakdown of a few different parts to it, but the overarching part in it is that I came across five areas that really needs balance to be able to have a happy life, really a well-functioning life.

Mel: 17:52

So those main five pillars are time, money, self-care, your home, so your family life, and your work, your work life. Now, to break it down a little bit further with your time, I see that as the foundation. So without control over your time and without some order, everything else crumbles. Without some order, everything else crumbles. Now, money and self-care, I see it like walls. So I'm painting an image of a 2D house here. So your money is your financial wellbeing and helps move you forward in life, but also keeps you going. Today, self-care is the other wall and if you don't look after yourself, the whole house can crumble.

Mel: 18:47

That is your wellbeing, both physically, mentally, but also emotionally and spiritually. It is a part of you that's not selfish, it's not at the expense of others, it's putting you first, like the oxygen mask on the airplane, you know. So you can help save everyone else. You can be what you need to be and who you need to be for everyone else. That is the self-care. It's not the luxuries, it's the essentials. So I'll go into more of that later anyway.

Mel: 19:26

But then part of the roof. So we've got the roof here and one side you've got home. The other side, you've got work Now with your home. That is your family and your safety and your literal home. So that is the sort of the heartbeat of your every day is your home. But your work is your contributions. Now, I don't mind if you're working nine to five, if you're doing shift work, if you're a stay-at-home mum, you are working. Your work is your contributions. Whether it's paid or unpaid, it is your contributions to your family and to the world around you.

Mel: 20:08

So with these five things time, money, self-care, home work there needs to be a balance across it all. If something is out of alignment, so just say you've got a hole in your roof and your home is not functioning well. Well, you're not going to go fixing a wall, putting everything into the money side of things. There's a hole in your roof and there's a storm coming. We need to kind of patch things up to begin with and then we can actually go about focusing on reestablishing our overall structure and reinforcing it to become stronger. Reinforcing it to become stronger. So you focus on what needs immediate attention and then we can build up from there. So I have got some resources to help with balance and other things like that, which you can find at b s com. com. com slash toolkit, and that is something that can help you with balance and everything else that will be popped in there as time goes on.

Mel: 21:26

But, um, one thing that I know is something that I am working on that you will journey with me is the self-care. So my time is pretty good, my money is a lot better than it was, my home pretty well organised, my work pretty balanced, but self-care it is still very low. Pretty balanced, but self-care it is still very low. So I'm going to need your help to keep me accountable with that, to make sure that I'm looking after myself as well. And you know, it's self-care in this season, with little kids down the track, it could be time, it could be other things that constantly need readjustment.

Mel: 22:12

There's no sort of mastering and forgetting. It's, you know, constant re-evaluation and looking at things and going is this working? Do I need to change this in this time? And it's a constant motion, like riding that bike. You know it's just one pedal and then the next. You know you just keep going, but every now and then sometimes you just need to stop, reassess and work out what's working and what's not. Maybe you need to change gears.

Mel: 22:45

So that's sort of my main part of the Baltics method with those five pillars, but there are other parts that I incorporate in it which I'll touch on quickly. So I talk a lot about reactive living versus proactive living. I also talk about parallel productivity, so that's a phrase that I've coined. There's a lot of different names for it out there. It's instead of multitasking, which we know is not very productive. This is pairing a high cognitive function with a low cognitive function. So like listening to a podcast while you're going for a walk or listening to a podcast while you're folding laundry, it's doing something that requires a level of concentration with something that is just automatic that you don't need to think about. So I will be breaking down into those further in further episodes as well. And I also have what I call the Vexanova technique and I'll go into why I called it that down the track.

Mel: 23:53

But that is my whole mindset side of my business and what I do, and that goes hand in hand with the Beltrics method and everything to do with balance and organising. So I'll be going into the mindset stuff as well down the track. Know, years ago when people mentioned anything to do with mindset and that I thought oh, here we go, another kooky person and all that kind of stuff. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if that's you, but I've really come to see that unless if our mind is speaking life and it's aligned with our vision for the future, we're going to be stuck in the same cycle and that really is the key to being able to find that balance. So I will dive further into that in future episodes, but I wanted to just give you a little bit of a taste of balance, how I see it and how this all plays a part in having a more organised life, and into all the things that matter, like our parenting and our relationships and everything. Like our parenting and you know our relationships and everything. Because like that, five pillars of balance the time, money, self-care, home and work. I mentioned how it's like a 2D house, but what are those things housing? It's housing the relationships, the people inside it. It's all well and good having your time and everything well organized and structured and having everything perfect, but if the house is empty, what's the point? So the whole purpose of having balance, the whole purpose of having this balance across these five areas, is to maximize the memories, the experiences and the overall connection we have with the people that matter most.

Mel: 26:04

And I have been a coach in the corporate world for many years. I have done this kind of stuff for a long time, but actually being able to sit down, nut it out and go what's really important, it made me realise I don't want to just help people in the corporate world. I what I've lived. I want to help fast track you because this is something that I have learnt over 12 years, and in particularly the last few years pretty intensely trying to understand why. Why do some people thrive? Some people really struggle and yet sometimes the people that are thriving are the ones that have had a really hard life.

Mel: 27:00

And you'll get to know my background and my life a bit more. And, yes, I've walked through abuse, I've walked through some pretty tough stuff, but I look at my life overall and I'm happy, I'm okay with where I'm at and I wish I could get more sleep. But where I'm at, I know, is going to serve you, it's going to help you and if there is someone out there, if you are listening and you go oh, my goodness, this is where I'm at. I'm tired, I can't think clearly. I don't have much direction for where I want to go. I can't seem to juggle parenting and work and friendships and whatever else. I just need some help. Well, that's what I'm here for and, hey, I gave you full warning that today's episode was probably not going to be completely well said and I probably did jump around a little bit, but I hope that you could get a grasp on the beginnings of what it is that I want to talk through and go through with you, because I know this.

Mel: 28:28

I know this in and out and I know this will help you, because this has helped other mums. This has helped other people, not even mums, just men, women. It has helped in being able to understand how to practically put things together and I'm going to break things down further in further episodes to be able to really help with particular areas, being able to educate you on certain things, but not just that. We are going to cover all the things that go beyond the organising and we're going to have some pretty cool guest speakers coming on soon that are going to help you with your journey and add more balance to you guys, but also to me. I'm going to learn a lot too, and I'm really looking forward to it, so I hope that you got something out of today, because organising really is just a piece of the puzzle. It's just the beginning.

Mel: 29:45

But having a balanced day-to-day, being able to make decisions that actually align with your purpose and your calling and being intentional about it, that's what we want to get to. That's what we want to do every day, and some days you're going to wake up tired. Look, most days you probably wake up tired, and you probably don't even need to have a baby for that to be the case. You're going to be questioning where you're at. You question whether you're in the right job, whether you know there's better ways that you can stay on top of things at home. You're going to question a lot of things. If you haven , you will be able to put things together that can help enhance your life, get the most out of your life and live a more simple life. Life, and I hope that today spoke to you.

Mel: 31:02

I would love to hear your thoughts and I would love to answer your questions. So if you've got anything that you really want to have answered or you just want to share your thoughts with me, you can reach me at e com s p. com. com slash podcast and you can email me beyondorganised. com well podcast at beyondorganizedcom, and I will respond to your messages personally. And, yeah, I would love to have your questions on the show and I'd love to be able to work through them, because that's why I'm here. I'm here for you. I'm as much as I love talking about myself not really I am here for you, and whatever it is that you need from me as your coach, I'm ready. Let's do it.

Mel: 31:53

So in the next episode, we're going to dive a little bit further into the mindset side of things and hopefully I am less tired when I can run through that with you. So please reach out if you need anything and I will talk to you next time. If you loved this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram a shes. organised. organised, or, for some free resources, head over to beyondorganizedcom. Slash toolkit. organising, organizing is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.