You Can't Organise Your Way Out of a Mindset Problem

Have you ever wondered why your organisational systems fall apart no matter how perfect they seem at first? The answer might lie not in your storage solutions or time management apps, but in your mindset.

The Vexanova Technique™ I share in this episode provides the missing piece in the organization puzzle. This powerful five-step framework (Recognise, Reveal, Replace, Rewrite and Reinforce) helps you identify and transform the limiting beliefs holding you back from lasting change. Whether you're constantly telling yourself "I don't have enough time" or "I'm just not organised enough," these thought patterns are likely sabotaging your efforts to create order.

I open up about my personal struggle with time management and how my unstructured childhood combined with society's glorification of maternal busyness created beliefs that kept me feeling constantly overwhelmed. By applying The Vexanova Technique™, I transformed not just my schedule but my entire relationship with time. The real breakthrough comes when we shift from a reactive mindset (putting out fires) to a proactive one (preventing them in the first place).

Perhaps surprisingly, I also address the dangers of over-organisation; a trap I fell into myself. Perfectionism can be just as destructive as disorganisation, damaging relationships and mental health when we refuse to accept anything less than flawless execution. The sweet spot lies somewhere in between, where organisation serves as a tool rather than a taskmaster.

Try this technique with whatever area has you feeling stuck and remember, your environment might not change overnight, but your mindset can and that makes all the difference. 

Connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or grab free resources at beyondorganised.com/toolkit to continue your journey toward a more balanced, purposeful life.

Chapters

• 0:18 Welcome to Beyond Organised
• 1:30 The Vexanova Technique™ Explained
• 4:39 Replacing False Beliefs
• 8:32 Reactive vs. Proactive Mindset
• 12:38 The Dangers of Over-Organisation
• 16:06 Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Mel: 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose.

Mel: 0:24

I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised and, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real-life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. W

Mel: 1:01

Welcome back to today's episode. Welco ba t today episo. Today I want to just jump straight into it. I want to actually go through a little bit more strategy and the practical side to the mindset side of things. So the last couple of episodes we covered introduction to this podcast and what it is. Of episodes we covered introduction to this podcast and what it is, as well as going through The Baltrix Method and the methodology that I use to help with order and balance across the main areas of our life time, home, work, money, self-care, all of that. So, with the mindset side of things, honestly, if we don't have our mindset in the right space. All these other things are great and they can work, but they may not last or it may not be as effective or as efficient. So it is really important that you understand your own beliefs and your own mindset when it comes to this and possibly rewrite some of it. So, with the mindset, I have a technique that I call The Vexanova Technique. I will probably break down the meaning behind that at some point in the future, but I think it's a really cool name, the Vexanova technique.

Mel: 2:30

Now there are five steps to it and, to keep it simple, it all starts with an R. So step one is recognise, step two, reveal. Step three replace. Step four rewrite. And step five is reinforce. So I'm going to go through them, break it down, give you some examples and I'm going to use an example of time for me, something in my life, but you can apply this to absolutely anything. I challenge you to find something that this doesn't work for and if you do, let me know, because I am very keen to keep learning and growing and developing these tools to be able to help you.

Mel: 3:16

So recognise, that is identifying what keeps you stuck, so I always said I'm too busy, I don't have enough time. I mean, how many of you can relate to feeling like your time is just being stolen from you, especially when you've got little kids and you're working and you're I don't know, you're caring for sick parents or whoever whatever Never enough time, and especially when we're living in this 21st century where everything is almost instant. So we feel the need to fill up every second so time. I always said I don't have enough time, I'm too busy, and every now and then, I catch myself saying that and I have to actually stop so recognize and identify what's keeping you stuck. Now, the second one is reveal. So that's understanding why that exists.

Mel: 4:19

Why does this belief actually exist? Why do I think this way? Now, it could actually be that you have filled up every second of your day and you haven't given yourself any breathing space or downtime. A lot of the time, though, our beliefs actually stem back to our childhood, so a lot of our beliefs are formed by the time we're eight years old and we actually need to think what was it that shaped us? Now, some of us grew up quite privileged two parents, good education, safe environment, all of that but some of us grew up with one parent or in the foster system, terrible education, a really unsafe environment, abuse, you know, whatever it is. We all had different beginnings and all of that shaped us into what we believe.

Mel: 5:15

So, when it comes to time, a big part of what shaped that for me was there wasn't a lot of structure and routine growing up. My parents were good at it, but it was a very free kind of home. Yes, I still went to school every day and did all of that, but it wasn't really something talked about or taught and I didn't have set chores or routines or structures or systems or anything like that. But then also, as I've gotten older, a big part of the belief of why I'm so busy is because it was seen as like a badge of honor being busy as a mom. Have you found that that you feel like you're achieving something or you're accomplished or you're validated because you're busy? Well, I will. I will go into that a little bit further in in other episodes. Um, because that was something that I really struggled with for a long time, but that was a big part of why I didn't have that time structure so well.

Mel: 6:30

Now the next part is replace. So we need to shift that belief into something that actually serves you. Now, this is a conscious effort, this is a conscious decision here. Effort this is a conscious decision here and a big part of it is actually speaking that life into you, actually speaking that positive. I can do this, I can manage my time, I am capable, I have got the skills or I will learn them. I will find that coach, I will find the resources to be able to help with that. So replacing that belief, that false belief, really with a positive, new one is key. You need to do that step, you need to shift it and it needs to be a conscious effort.

Mel: 7:26

Now number four is rewrite. So we now need to apply that. We actually need to practically start acting on that new belief. So we created a schedule that we stick to and adapt and keep it flexible. You know, make it till you find what works for you. We do something practically that reinforces, or sorry, that rewrites that new belief into our daily habits and then, very closely linked, we move into the reinforced. So that's something that strengthens the consistency of it and we're constantly acting on it daily. So we haven't just done it once, we're doing it again and again and again and again process of doing the five R's.

Mel: 8:31

The Vexanova technique is moving from a reactive mindset to a proactive mindset. So we want to go from the reactive that feeling overwhelmed and that exhaustion and putting out fires to actually moving into that proactive mindset of actually starting to believe I can do this, this is possible for me and I have the tools that I need to be able to make this succeed. Now to give you some examples of, you know, a reactive belief versus a proactive. So know a reactive belief versus a proactive. So you know a reactive belief might be I've got nothing left to give. But a proactive one is rest is a requirement, not a reward. I give myself permission to recharge.

Mel: 9:22

And another one of time scarcity. There's never enough time in the day and we can say well, I make time for what truly matters and I'm in control of my schedule. Another one might be to do with your self-worth and your identity. It could be I'm not good enough and you say, like I'm just not good enough. But we speak that life and we say I am created with purpose and my worth is not measured by my performance.

Mel: 9:54

I think so often as mums, and bear with me. If you're not a mum, apply this to your situation. But I know as mums, we put so much of our worth into how we perform and we compare ourselves with Sally next door and with Mary down the street and with Joe at Mother's Group. We compare ourselves and it's not a competition, it's not a performance-based thing. Every one of us is different. Every one of us is unique and it's okay to be at a different level and it's okay to have a different level of capacity compared to the person next to you, because they're not living your life and the truth is they probably have secrets in their closet that they're not showing you the same as you are probably doing the same with them.

Mel: 11:00

So we don't always get the full picture. Unless you are actually in their life, living it every day and seeing it, you can't really know the full measure of where someone's at anyway. So it's pointless measuring ourselves against other mums, and I'm someone that really cares, even now, what people think. So. But a big part of that came in comparing myself and you know where I'm at in my career or how I am as a mom, or even how many kids I've got, whatever it is. That was something I was really stuck on. But now I don't care. I'm running my own race. I still care enough about what people think because, you know, I I, I want the respect and all of that and I don't want to create an image that is negative or anything like that. But at the same time, I also don't get caught up on what people might say about me or think about me that's negative, because that's actually not my problem, unless if I've done something that, like, intentionally caused pain, which I can't think for the life of me of anything I have done. But if I'm just being the best version of me that I can, I'm running my own race. I'm doing my best and someone else hates on me for it, it's actually not my problem. I'm doing my best and someone else hates on me for it, it's actually not my problem, and maybe there's one of you that needs to hear that, because you're taking on everyone else's problems and making it your own and making it a part of you know your identity, and it's not so when it comes to our mind.

Mel: 12:48

There's so much I can go into, but this is sort of the foundational things that I will be going off in the future in the episodes. This is what I I coach on, this is what I teach on. So, between the Bell tricks method and , these really are the foundations to how I coach and how I help you be able to achieve that more simple, more purposeful life and going from that disorganized or even over-organized to a better balance. So I want to touch on that for a second. So I know I talk a lot about being disorganized or, you know, not having things in any order, not having no structure, whatever that is. But there's also going to be some of you and I fell into this camp in more recent years of being over-organized, so I went too far the other way and that is just as dangerous. I can tell you now. So it's one thing to be disorganized and not having learned the skills yet, but then it's another thing to have learned all the skills and gone so far the other way that perfectionism is the only level that you're satisfied with, and I can tell you now it's destructive, it will hurt you, it will hurt the people you love, and I've lived it for so long.

Mel: 14:22

I was stuck in that and it hurt. It hurt me so and it hurt my family, because I couldn't be satisfied with anything less than perfect. You know, the house had to be perfect. I had to show up on time to things perfectly. You know, if a meeting ran late at work and I was, and I had another one scheduled and it's sort of back to back, I either had to leave one early or I had to go to the next one, obviously weighing up what was more important, but either way it was out of my control. But it still like put me in this negative headspace because it wasn't perfect. We didn't get to finish the one or we didn't get to start the other one properly because I was late and I just I had to let a lot of that go. I actually had to go through and recognize and, you know, reveal it, find out where that came from. And okay, that went too far. The other way, I had to replace that and actually go progress. And you know, achieving something is better than having it perfect. And I had to rewrite that, I had to apply it and it was painful doing it again and reinforcing it again and again, and again and again, but it got easier. It got easier as time went on.

Mel: 15:49

So this can be used for wherever it is you're stuck. Whatever it is that you're feeling like is holding you back from having that more balanced and peaceful life. So I want to. I'm going to leave it there today. I didn't want this one to go too long because it is a little bit more. You know, content heavy, but I'm hoping that you can start to look at where you're at in your life, start applying this technique and going. Actually, I am stuck in this area and it is because of X, y, z, but I'm not going to be stuck there anymore. I am choosing to not be a victim. I'm choosing to be a victor. I'm going to beat this. I am strong enough because I've survived, whatever it is.

Mel: 16:54

Start speaking life and you'll be amazed at how your mind starts to turn around and the. You know you could still be stuck in the horrible job you can still be stuck in. You know the season you're in with little kids or you know teenagers that you can't get to listen to you. Whatever it is. Your situation and your environment around you might not be able to change straight away, but your mind can change and it will change absolutely everything. So I encourage you to try this exercise and let me know how you go. I would love to hear how this has helped you. Please send an email, reach out on my website. All the details are in the description and I really look forward to hearing how you go. If you loved this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram, at @shes. organized. organized, or, for some free resources, head beyondorganisedcom to S. Slash toolkit. organising Remember organizing is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.