Why You're Put Together at Work but Falling Apart at Home

Ever feel like you're living a double life? Perfectly organised and on top of things at work, yet walking into what feels like complete chaos the moment you arrive home? You're not broken, failing, or an imposter, you're experiencing a common disconnect that affects countless working parents.

This gap exists for logical reasons. Your workplace has built-in structures that home typically doesn't: clear expectations, defined deadlines, accountability to others and established systems. Meanwhile, home life swirls with unpredictable demands, emotional complexity and an endless mental load that no one is scheduling or structuring for you. The contrast is stark, especially for those juggling careers and family responsibilities.

Drawing from my experience as both a working professional and mother of four, I share three practical strategies to bridge this work-home organisation gap. First, treat your home life like it deserves genuine systems rather than constant improvisation. Create frameworks around pain points like meal planning or family schedules. Second, establish micro deadlines for essential life admin tasks, whether it's a Sunday night laundry reset or a quick evening tidy-up routine. Finally, schedule breaks and self-care with the same commitment you give to work meetings and lunch breaks, because you can't sustainably function without them.

Ready to stop feeling like an organisational Jekyll and Hyde? Book a free 60-minute Organised Life Strategy Session with me to develop a personalised plan that brings your professional organisational skills home. Remember, you already have the skills, you just need to adapt them to a different environment. If you found this helpful, please share with friends and leave a review so more overwhelmed parents can discover these strategies and start feeling more balanced.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Beyond Organised
• 0:59 Organised at Work, Chaos at Home
• 2:16 Why the Workplace-Home Disconnect Happens
• 5:33 Three Ways to Transfer Work Organisation
• 11:12 You're Not Failing: Finding Balance
• 16:31 Call to Action and Closing

Transcript

Mel: 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised and, more importantly, a wife and mom of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in.

Mel: 0:59

Today's episode, I wanted to talk about one that is popping up a lot more for me lately when I'm talking to these amazing women, and it's more to do with when you're organized at work but you struggle with it at home. So have you ever felt like you've got it all together at work? You're on top of the emails, you meet the deadlines, you're attending all the meetings, but the moment you're walking through the door it's chaos, like the washing's piling up dinner's a disaster. You feel like it even get around to cooking it and just suddenly all that organized energy just kind of disappears. Well, I can tell you you're not alone. It is happening to mums everywhere, and this was me too for a number of years, particularly when my first two were little. So today I wanted to unpack sort of why this happens a bit and sort of how to bridge that gap a bit, and a few things that you could do to help in this season that you're in.

Mel: 2:16

So, firstly, why is it that you're organised at work and struggling at home? And the big one is that at work there's clear expectations. You've got your deadlines, you've got your particular role that you are employed for. You're getting paid for it. So there is a certain expectancy to deliver. There's systems in place, but also, generally, you're accountable to someone. Now you might even be the top person, but you still have to be showing up for your team. It doesn't matter what type of role you're in. You could be in an office, corporate role, you could be in retail. It could be in retail, it could be in hospitality, it could be in the medical industry, it doesn't really matter. This is shown time and time again. No matter what profession you've got, everyone is accountable to someone in the workplace. But also, you've built structures. You've got your calendar reminders, you've got your lists what to do. You've got certain workflows, systems, automations. You've got a process At home, though, unless you have set it up with particular systems, automations, workflows you're accountable to someone.

Mel: 3:42

Clothes you're accountable to someone. You've got particular deadlines or even roles. Unless you have all those things at home, for most people it's unstructured, it's unpredictable. The mental load is huge and no one is setting the schedule and telling you what to do when it comes to getting the laundry done and the meals done and the housework, let alone the kids' homework and all the other demands and there's a lot of demands. I just listed a bunch of the physical things, but there's the emotional ones too. Dealing with kids' emotions, your partner's emotions, your own emotions it's a lot messier. Emotions, your own emotions it's a lot messier.

Mel: 4:32

For quite a long time, actually, I was really beginning to thrive at work, especially after I had my first and I went back. I actually realized just how much I needed that time for me. I wasn't just mom anymore, I was Mel and it felt good and I really started to improve and step up more with work and I got more responsibilities and moved up and I really enjoyed that side of things and I had such great mentors and great leaders and they taught me so much. I had this one absolutely lovely lady who was my leader for a while and then I moved up to being a leader and she moved up to different things, but she'd always be there and check in and she taught me about time blocking and all this kind of stuff that I now help people on. But I didn't know that six years ago. So there's a lot more structure at work but also a lot of the time we're not necessarily dealing with as much emotions.

Mel: 5:37

Now, don't get me wrong. We are dealing with people. There are emotions, there's a lot of things, but I feel like particularly well, particularly the cultures I've been a part of, as healthy as they are, there's still a level of professionalism that you kind of just keep it to yourself. Maybe it's an Aussie thing or an English thing or something I don't know, but there's sort of an expectancy that whatever you're going through at home or in your personal life, you don't bring it into work. Now I have been a very different kind of leader. I want to know and be present for my team, not in a nosy, intrusive way, but for them to feel safe that if there are dramas going on at home. They could talk to me about it and then that would help me be a more understanding boss in being able to cater for the situation that they're in. But work and home generally very different environments. Even when you're working from home, you still have certain expectations and structures with work as opposed to a lot of people at home.

Mel: 6:53

So I've come up with sort of three main ways that you can transfer your work organization to your home life. So the first one is treat your home life like it deserves a system, so don't just wing it. You don't wing it at work, so stop winging it at home. With all due respect, it's easier when we're getting paid to do it. There's expectations from other people and all of that. But we need to actually carry some of those skills that we've learned and apply it at home. So some simple systems that you could have at home is, you know, around meal time, meal prepping, dinner times, maybe delegating or pre-cooking up some meals. There's many different structures, but you maybe could have a system around your mealtime. Maybe another system can be around cleaning routines. Maybe a particular day of the week is a particular room that you clean. Again, so many systems.

Mel: 7:57

You could have a family calendar. I've got one. I've got a magnetic one on the fridge that I write out every month. It's a really cool chalk marker type one. I love it. Anyway, I use that mainly. I put on there for the know all the different things that are going on at school. If I'm in the city for work for a day or whatever it's going on, I have that down. So it could just be creating a system where you kind of just know what everyone's doing and on what day. And it helps because every now and then when my husband needs to step in for something he knows, he can just check the fridge. If the kids aren't too sure and they can read, they check the fridge. So it's creating a system at home, starting with the particular pain points. So if it's around organizing all the family commitments, then do that calendar thing. If it's around meal times, maybe it's just creating the lunches and stuff for the next day for school, like for those of you in Australia and other countries where you've got to provide the lunch for school.

Mel: 9:06

Whatever it is, start with the thing that irritates you the most. Create a system. So that's the first thing. The second thing is set some micro deadlines for basic life admin. So none of us like admin stuff much.

Mel: 9:26

I mean, I love a good spreadsheet, I don't mind doing paperwork and that, but when it comes to my own personal stuff paying bills, all of that don't like it really. So I've automated, got direct debits and things like that. Where possible I do try to pay for a year up front with things and therefore that's more of a manual process when that rolls around. But I then like to research on my insurances and my utility providers and all those kind of things. And so maybe you pay your bills on Tuesday afternoon or you still do bits of washing throughout the week, but it kind of piles up a little bit by the weekend.

Mel: 10:08

Maybe Sunday night you just quickly go through, do a laundry set, make sure everything's put away starting off the new week, or you can do what I do every night before I go to bed. What I do every night before I go to bed I do a quick tidy of the house. It usually takes me about 20 minutes to sort of get everything back to square one. It might take you longer if you're just getting started, but I do a quick tidy up before I go to bed. So then, when I wake up in the morning it's fresh, ready to go. Not going to hold me back or slow me down in the morning, which mornings are absolute madness in our house it doesn't matter how organized you are. When you've got four kids and they've all got to get out the door by a certain time and they want to sleep, you can have all the systems in the world. Unfortunately, that's something that is just something you've got to deal with in this season. So, yeah, set some deadlines, just for life admin, just knowing you've got to get certain things done by certain days and certain times, and just stick to that routine a little bit, and then that will become automatic as well.

Mel: 11:11

And then the third one is schedule time for you. So at work, you book in meetings. You have designated lunch times, though, granted, I know quite a lot of you will still sit at your desk and work, or you've got clients that are running behind and it eats into your lunch time. You know if you're a hairdresser or nail technician or something, there's a lot that can happen, even at work. But there are meant to be set designated times for breaks, for meetings, for all of that. Do it at home too. So on the days that I'm not working from home like I'm not working I will still have a rough idea in my head as to when lunchtime's going to be. And if I'm not sort of caught up on everything I need to do and I'm still going, I will still go. Okay, look, it's about 12 30. I said I was going to have lunch around here, a bit behind in what I need to do, but I'm still going to stop because I need to have a break, I need to sit down because if I keep going I'm going to get to a point where my energy levels just deplete so much and I don't want to pass out or get snappy or whatever it is.

Mel: 12:32

So it is important to manage your wellbeing and I say it all the time, like I say it almost every week in looking out for yourself. And it is important because I've had quite a number of people say to me they've tried a lot of decluttering programs or a lot of time management programs and all that kind of stuff. But the thing that makes it different with me is that I'm not just focusing on one area and neglecting the rest. I really do come from the holistic perspective that. Yes, okay, we're focusing on the work pillar in this episode, but it's still connected with your time, with your home, with your money, your self-care. It's all connected. There is no complete isolation in dealing with one thing and that's like with decluttering yeah, you could do the systems and that, but if you don't address these other things, you're going to fall back into old ways eventually.

Mel: 13:36

Well-being, self-care all of that is also critical because you don't necessarily realize you're doing it in a work environment, because maybe it's scheduled in for you, maybe you're on a roster and all of that and you've got to do it. But when it comes to home, we don't think necessarily like that all the time. So, focus on creating a system at home, having some deadlines for things and scheduling in time for you to have a bit of a break in between particular tasks. It's actually essential. It's not really an option. Just like in a paying job, you can't work an eight-hour shift without a single break. It's like illegal, pretty sure. Anywhere in a first world country it's not legal. So, yeah, treat it like that.

Mel: 14:32

Now, just because you're organized at work and you're not at home. Now, just because you're organized at work and you're not at home doesn't mean that you're failing or you're doing a terrible job or you're a fraud or an imposter, whatever it is that potentially goes through your head, because I know for me for a while I thought I was broken in some ways. How can I do this at work and be so on top of things and my team and everything's like a well-oiled machine that just functions so well? And then I come home and I'm just struggling to even just make the kids lunch and get them down for naps or whatever it is Like. It's very different a lot of the time for a lot of us work life and home life. Even when you work from home, and a big part of it are the things that I mentioned.

Mel: 15:25

But if you feel like you're someone that needs help with those rhythms and everything, I have got the she's Organized Hub, which you're welcome to join, have group coaching, all that kind of stuff to help with that. But if you are needing to find something that works for you, that bridges the gap with your work life and your home life, I have got a free 60-minute life organizing strategy session that you can hop on with me and we'll create a plan for you to get you started, to get you going and moving forward in being able to balance, I guess, these two worlds a bit more cohesively and help you running. And look, you might even be completely opposite. You might actually be really good at home because of all the time and effort you've put in over the years learning these things, but you still can't translate it into your work life. I can definitely help with that too. So, if that's you, the link is in the description, details are there and I can get you started. We can create a plan to get you moving forward.

Mel: 16:39

And, yeah, if you've got any questions or you need to know anything else, then just reach out and I'd be more than happy to support you as you go through this, because, yeah, this is something that keeps popping up a lot lately, that I'm seeing but doesn't really get talked about enough. So I hope you got something out of today's episode. And also one thing that I don't talk about much if you do like what you're hearing on these episodes, tell your friends, share it, leave a review. When you leave reviews whether it's through Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this from, because I'm on all platforms when you leave a review, it does start to show to more people, and the more people that come across these, the more we're going to be able to support each other and work through this together and maybe start making a difference. So there's going to be more mums that are feeling less overwhelmed. Anyway, I look forward to speaking to you next week.

Mel: 17:46

If you loved this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram at @shes. organised or for some free resources. Head over to beyondorganised. com/ toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.