Find Your Why In Life

What if your aesthetic looking calendar is hiding the real problem? We dive into the quiet truth so many high-achieving women feel but rarely say out loud: you can be flawlessly organised and still feel joyless, reactive, and questioning your true purpose. I share the five-level why exercise that helps peel back the tidy answers and reach the motive that actually fuels change, along with reflection prompts you can journal on today to build systems that breathe.

Across the episode, we unpack why surface reasons like “not enough time” or “too much chaos” rarely tell the full story. I talk about my own season of textbook control that drained all life from my days, and how shifting from control to alignment created room for peace, family, and work that fits my calling. For those of faith, we also address the spiritual resistance that often rises when you step toward purpose, why surrender isn’t weakness, and how to put on practical armour like boundaries, buffers, and habits that protect joy.

You’ll learn how to turn your why into design choices: creating flexible routines, building margin, protecting attention, and measuring progress in peace rather than productivity. Whether you’re overwhelmed or over-organised, the tools here help you move from reacting to intentionally leading your life. If you’re ready to stop swapping planners and start transforming the engine beneath your systems, this conversation will meet you where you are and invite you further.

If the prompts land and you want guided support, come into the She’s Organised Hub to workshop your why, craft season-proof rhythms, and connect with women on the same journey. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a gentler way to organise, and leave a review to tell us your why as we read every one.

Chapters

• 0:37 Setting The Intent
• 1:05 The Real Problem Beneath Organisation
• 3:18 Misery Behind Perfect Systems
• 4:56 Purpose, Faith And Feeling Stuck
• 9:36 Surface Reasons vs True Motives
• 12:17 The Five Levels Of Why
• 16:31 Motivation, Resistance And Spiritual Pushback
• 21:45 Wrap Up

Transcript

Speaker: 0:37

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode. Now I'm gonna dive straight into it today. I want to keep this one a little bit shorter and simpler for you. Now I've come across a lot of women who are on varying lengths of the scale as to where they are on their organizing journey. Some of them are very disorganized. Some of them are really, really organized, like way more than me. But they have the same problem. They're really struggling to actually enjoy their life at the heart of it. So today I actually want to focus on what your why is. Why do you come to this podcast and listen to it? Why do you go looking through Instagram reels, YouTube videos, everywhere else to actually learn how to organize or perhaps how to change up your systems, whatever it is. Why do you do that? And so today I'm going to be posing a little bit more of a question-based style to you today. I've got a few questions that I want to ask you that I would love you to actually take away and take some time thinking about it. Because I think we are so busy a lot of the time running around, doing our things, trying to uh better our productivity, trying to do more in less time, all this kind of stuff that we sometimes don't actually stop to think, why? Why am I doing this? Why do I want a better way? Why do I need a better way of doing things? But why isn't this working? All of it. So today I'm going to touch on some of that that will hopefully get you thinking as to why you're even on this journey in the first place. A lot of women come to me because they are disorganized and they are struggling with their processes or lack of systems and routines. But I have an increasing number of women that are coming to me that are actually probably more organized than me. They are on the level that I used to be at five, six years ago. And they are miserable to really put it bluntly. The same as I was that time in the past. I was miserable. I was so organized. Everything was scheduled tightly. Everything was running pretty well in terms of my schedules were in time, my systems that I had around the home with my children, all that kind of stuff. It was running pretty well, but my goodness, there was no life in anything that I was doing. And I was so miserable. So I'm seeing the same thing happening in an increasing number of women that are coming to me. And these are women that know that they are created in God's image, that they are here with a purpose, that they're supposed to be doing more, all these things. And yet here they are, just feeling stuck in the everyday and really struggling to find their purpose in what they're supposed to be doing in this season. And that can happen a lot, particularly with stepping into motherhood and like a full shift in the way that you used to do things, particularly if you are career career-driven and that sort of high-achieving type of woman. So I would like you to think in terms of your why, what is the reason why you want to get more organized? Or perhaps why you want to find a better balance because you're maybe over-organized. Now, a lot of the reasons that I hear is you don't have enough time. There's too much to do, not enough help. The house is chaotic, you feel overwhelmed stepping into your home and you just want it to be peaceful. Work is demanding, and it really robs the joy when you have your family time because you're still thinking about all the drama and things that are happening at work. So many different reasons why people come to me or why they listen to this podcast, why they step into my community. There's a lot of different reasons. But that is surface level. That's the surface level reason. When we get down to the heart of it, it's usually things more like I don't feel in control of my life. I'm constantly reacting to everything. I'm doing so much, but yet nothing actually feels significant. Like, what am I actually achieving in doing all of this stuff? And I'm just tired from carrying it all, doing it all. I don't want to keep living like this. That again is still not even the deep level of what we uncover. So when I get someone to go through their why, and I ran through this recently in a group coaching call inside the She's Organized Hub, I got them to list their why. And a lot of the time it starts with this surface level stuff. I'd like to get my time in order, I want to get my house in order, whatever it is. And then it goes a bit deeper. Oh, you know, don't want to have the financial pressures, things like that. I tell them to go through five levels of why. So write your why, have your answer, and then why again. Have your answer and then why again. And once you get to that fifth level, which can be really hard, most people get stuck sort of at the third or fourth, even getting to that fifth level of why, like really digging deep into sort of the subconscious layer. That can be so difficult, but that will uncover your true why. Now, a lot of the time, I even had someone in the hub ask me, well, why do we do it five times? And look, this isn't something that I came up with. This is a sort of a scientific fact out there. I can't remember who to credit to, uh, but this is not something that I made up. But generally, when we answer it the first time, we are so trained to answer in a way that we think is correct. So we are trained to answer the way that we think society should respond and how we should respond to the societal norm. So we want to start peeling back that. We want to get to the real raw, honest thoughts behind why you want to potentially change aspects of your life. And it's really important to understand what that why is, because there are going to be moments when you don't feel motivated, you're struggling with the procrastination, things are up against you. And particularly if you are a Christian, when you know you're stepping more into your purpose and into the calling that God has created you to be, the enemy has a plan of his own and he is going to try and stop you because you were no threat when you weren't living in your purpose. But now that you're stepping into it, there are spiritual attacks that happen too. Now, I don't say that to scare you, but just more to equip you and arm yourself and where we put on, you know, the full armor of God that we see in Ephesians. But it's just to prepare you for the fact that when you get to the heart of your why, then you are able to actually step into the purpose of what you're supposed to be doing in this season, who God has called you to be, and what he's called you into in this season, how he generally has a plan that is a lot bigger than you. And when we are so caught up in the everyday and we are struggling and we are just scraping by, and our bank account is just seeing us get from paycheck to paycheck. And look, I've been there, I've been through all of this. I get it, and it is stressful. And sometimes we feel like faith is just something that when our back is against the wall, then we've got no more control that we hand it over to God. He he doesn't want us to live that way. And that's something that I'll talk about in another episode because I could go into a lot more with that. But when we understand our true why and we're stepping into our purpose, then God can do more with us and he can further his kingdom through us a lot more. So that is why I want to help you get to your why with this. Maybe some things that will help you reflect that you can maybe write down to help you with this. Because we we want to move from this sort of reactive way of living to proactive living. And I talk about this a lot more inside the she's organized hub. I talk about a lot of this kind of stuff anyway, but just to touch on it here. Some questions that I'd like to pose to you is if everything ran perfectly tomorrow, what would that actually mean to you? There's no right or wrong, but it is something we're thinking about. What are you hoping organization will fix? Because I can tell you now, a lot of people come to me with an organizing problem, and we go so much deeper than that. And the amount of lives that I have seen already completely transformed when they thought it was just uh an organizing problem, a control problem, an order problem. And it just runs so much deeper than that. And yeah, we deal with that stuff. We deal with the practical things, how to get on top of your home and your finances and all of that. I can definitely help with all that kind of stuff. But this is gonna help you start to uncover the deeper layers that are hidden. So, what are you hoping organization will fix? And then the last question I kind of pose to you in this part is who are you trying to become? That's not to say there's anything wrong with you now. I get it. But if we don't change in life, then it's kind of sad. I like to think that I'm self-aware on a lot of things, but I'm also open to the correction of the Holy Spirit. And I know that even now on this journey, in this business, through this podcast, everything that I'm doing, he's changing me and he's moving me more and more into the woman he needs me to be for you. And I'm open to that. And there's a lot of correction that's happening, there's a lot of challenging just beliefs that I had that I didn't even realize was there. Like there is a whole lot going on. But even the things that I'm learning now, that's a lot of stuff that maybe my audience isn't quite ready for yet. And that's okay. But maybe by the time you are, I would have even moved through that and be able to pass that on better. But getting to the heart of why you're trying to change, why you're trying to do all of this is gonna help you moving forward. So when things come at you, you can stand strong in your why and know why you're doing this and be able to find that grit and determination to push through. So the way that I see it, I think for a lot of people when they start to get organized, whether you're at the beginning of this journey or whether you are a very well-oiled machine, I think for a lot of us, the reason why we get started was because we wanted to gain a level of control. I get that. I really do, because that's what I thought it was for many years. But really, when we have a proper flow in our organizing, that there is space for buffers and to breathe and to allow life to just be, then it becomes more about alignment and less about control. And the funny thing is, it was through this whole journey that I thought I was gaining more and more control. That once I hit a point that I was like, I don't know, textbook perfect with my level of control, that I realized my life was literally controlling me. I still had this false sense of illusion of control. And again, that's what the enemy wanted. And so handing over that control, it is hard. It is so hard. There's a part of me that was like really contorting and wrestling with this whole handing over control to God. And even though I knew it, I knew what scripture said, I knew what I was supposed to do. I've been to church, like I know what God was asking of me, but to truly, truly hand it over, knowing that, you know, my family's livelihood is hanging in the balance, that maybe we have to sell our home, maybe we have to pull the kids out of Christian school, like all these things. It's really hard to hand over that control when I I guess I could say the things in my own strengths were probably better than most people in what I could achieve. And that was hurting me though, and it was hurting my family. One verse that I hear a lot is I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I twisted that. I made it about me doing more and more and more in my strength, really, rather than in God's strength. And I know I have seen it so many times with these beautiful, beautiful women that are coming to me, that uh have got all these systems, have got these ways of doing things, and they're just feeling so empty inside, and just feeling like, you know, they're the maid at home, that they're secretary at work when they're meant to be the boss, like whatever it is, it's just draining. It's draining. And it's been really quite amazing for me to see that how the things that I've learned and walked through are literally giving people a full 180 in the way that they go about things. And it's so encouraging for me. But my goodness, how amazing does that feel for the women that are on this journey, that are learning more about themselves. And these are these are tools and these are things that they're gonna take away with them, that they can never be undone. It can never be taken away. Like that's true power right there. I want you to think about your why today, why you do what you do, why you want to make the changes you want to make, what organizing will mean for you and your family and who you are trying to become. I encourage you to take the time to reflect, to journal, to write all these things in. And even if you're not a Christian, these things work. This isn't just limited for the Christians here. It's important for you to know your why as to why you do things because I think life is so busy and we are in such a hustle, rushed culture that a lot of the time we don't even stop to think of why anymore. We just go, oh, yep, that sounds good. Just keep going. Let's go that way. Let's do that, do that, do that, do that. We need to stop and reflect and have a look because it could save you potentially years of going down a path that is not really going to serve you. It's certainly going to make things worse for you in the long run, is not maybe the direction you even want to be going. I hope that helped. I really do hope that helped to get you to start thinking because that's what I do inside the She's Organized Hub. I really am encouraging and challenging the women in there to really start thinking about the way they go about things. Even though I can give tools and tips, and you've heard it on this podcast, ways that you can get organized with this and that. I can give you all the tips and all the tools, really. But my main role here as a coach is to try and get you to learn and think in a way that you can come up with your own systems that work for you. And that is more empowering. It's like I could just give you the fish, or I could teach you how to fish. And so I'm a lot more keen on being able to teach you how to fish. And look, I will give you some fishes to get you started because I get that for some people they're starving. And you wouldn't even have the brain capacity to sit there and fish when you are starving. So I get that. There is a mix of both. But if you are wanting more help, particularly if you've got systems that you've tried, you've listened to the amazing people out there and the systems that have worked for them. If you've done all these things and you're still just feeling completely dry and going, hang on a second, I need a complete rework here. Then I encourage you to come inside the She's Organized Hub and I will help you walk through that. And yeah, people get a lot of access to me for the ridiculously cheap price they're paying. So, and that's okay. That is okay. And look, I've got some higher ticket offers where we can go even deeper and further again. And I'd be more than happy to help you with that. But I think as a good starting place, just join me inside the hub, get to connect with other incredible women and start this journey towards discovering your why and stepping into that and stepping into your God-given purpose because you weren't just put here to just be mum. Now I say that with a lot of respect because a lot of us go, I am just a mum. Oh my goodness, do you understand what that word means? Do you understand what a lot of people would give to even have that title? And perhaps you're even someone that's not a mum that would love to have that title. And there's things you got to work through first. Regardless of where you are on your journey, I want to partner with you. I want to help you step into that. Because I'm so confident that I can help you move through this process. Because I've been doing this for a while now, and I've seen so many success stories that it's only boosted my confidence in knowing that I can help you too. And so I would love to be able to help Journey with you if you're needing more help on actually stepping deeper into who you are and your purpose and calling. So all the details are in the show notes. And if you've got questions, there's a button there that you can send me a text message. I will respond. You can always send me an email. However, you want to communicate with me, I will get back to you. And I do look forward to hearing your story and hearing how I can help you further on this journey and actually going deeper and going that whole next level. I'll talk to you next time. If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or for some free resources, head over to beyondorganised.com/toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.