Simple Wedding Planning Advice for Brides

A wedding can be stunning and still feel like chaos if you’re making decisions right up until you step into your dress. I’m sharing the practical wedding planning systems that make the day feel lighter, calmer, and far more enjoyable, especially if you’re someone who gets overwhelmed juggling details, people, and timelines.

Because my sister-in-law just got married and I’m in the bridal party, I’ve been thinking about the five things that matter most whether you’re weeks away or more. We talk through how the wedding day runs on decisions made well before the date, why a simple running sheet changes everything, and how to confirm vendors and payments early so you’re not chasing emails the morning of. I also explain why you need a clear go-to person (or a few) to handle timing, vendor questions, and small issues so the bride and groom can actually be present.

Then we zoom out to the part that lasts longer than any reception: the marriage. We get real about pre-marriage conversations like finances, expectations, where you’ll live, kids, and daily rhythms, plus why it’s never worth losing friendships or family over a one-day aesthetic. If you’re planning a wedding soon and want a calmer wedding day timeline with less stress, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share it with a bride or bridesmaid, and leave a review so more couples can plan with peace.

Transcript

Welcome And Easter Reflection

Mel 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Before I jump into today's episode, I just wanted to say that I hope you all had a fantastic Easter. If you are listening at the time of this coming out, I hope that it was restful and enjoyable with your family. Hopefully not too busy, but I do hope you had a wonderful Easter. And if you're wanting to reflect a bit more on this Easter time, you can listen to my last episode where I talk about where he didn't just die so we could get to heaven, but he died, rose again, all of that, so we can live a more intentional life here and now. Today's episode is going to be a little bit different. So I am going to talk about weddings. Now, that is probably a little bit different, but hopefully relevant for some of you. Or if you know someone that's getting married or part of a bridal party, then lead them this way. So when this episode comes out, my sister-in-law would have just gotten married two days earlier, and I am part of the bridal party. As of recording this, this is just before the wedding. So I'm assuming all went really well. But it got me thinking that there are so many things that go into getting married. And I'm not going to touch on all of it today because that's just too much and probably overwhelming. But there are five key things that I actually want to talk about that is important to know whether you're weeks away or months or even years away. Things that are good to know before you get married, whether you're the bride, the bridesmaid, or somehow connected to the organizing of a wedding. So today it's gonna get a bit more practical. And I like doing the practical stuff. So the first thing I want to touch on is the day runs on decisions that you made weeks ago. So by the time your wedding day rolls around, you do not want to be making decisions still. You will not believe how many brides are still left navigating things the morning of. It is far too stressful. You do not get to enjoy your day and you want to avoid it at all costs. Now, sometimes things are just out of your control. I get that. But everything that can be taken care of beforehand really should be. So you want to be locking in all your timelines for everything early on, your deadlines when things need to be sorted with all the vendors, when everything needs to get done. You want to have that all mapped out way before the wedding day, if you can. You want to confirm with all your vendors at least a week before the wedding, ideally two weeks before the wedding, you want to confirm that everyone is in order, everyone knows what's expected, everything's paid. My goodness, the amount of people that I have seen online where they have forgotten to pay because they missed an email or something. It's like, you have to be on top of it. You need to go searching through your emails and your junk mail. You need to go searching through your phone for messages, whatever it is. You need to be on top of it. And you need to have a clear running sheet for the day. Now, whether that's you or someone else organizing that, that's up to you. But these are things that you really should have weeks in advance, not the day off. You don't want to be coming up with a running sheet in the morning going, okay, so today, oh, hair and makeup and everything's oh da-da-da-da-da-da. No, you don't want to be doing it the day off. You want to have plenty of time beforehand because that level of clarity will help you have a much more calm day. My second point, which kind of leads into this, is you need a go-to person. Generally, this is the maid of honor, but could be bridesmaid, could be your mum, someone that is definitely on top of things in your circles. So this is pretty much one of the biggest things that people don't prepare for. And I love that with my sister-in-law's wedding, it got delegated out pretty early on who's doing what. So the morning of the wedding, I'm organizing the breakfast and doing all of that for all the bridesmaids and the bride. We've got someone else that's got the little makeup bag and all the little touch-up stuff ready to go. And then another person that's organizing lunch and a few other things. Like we've all got our own little tasks to handle, which is fantastic. But you want to have someone that is also going to answer all the vendor questions on the day, whether it's the venue, the catering, the flowers, which probably get dealt with the day before. But it doesn't matter who, you do not want these people going to the bride, whether that's you, you are the bride, or or someone else. But the bride does not need to be dealing with all of this on her day. Or the groom. Forget that he's part of it too. So you also need to have someone that's managing the timings of it all. So I, as you probably can figure out, I'm pretty good with timing and being on top of the time. So I am the time person. All right, we've got three hours left to go with this. We've got one hour left to go with this. We have to be at X by this time. All right, everybody in the car, five minutes. Like, I'm the timing person, but I like that. So definitely pick people that this place to their strengths, that it's not like a massive chore or really hard for them. Because you, if you pick someone that is always late, that's going to be keeping the time, and I hate to break it to you, you're probably gonna be running behind on the day. So you really need to pick someone that can handle these things. The same as with the vendors. If you hand this task to someone that can't handle conflict resolution, problem solving, all that kind of stuff, then you're gonna struggle a bit. You need someone who is a leader. You also need someone that's gonna handle the small issues, just the little things. Oh, so-and-so is upset, or oh no, something got spilt here or there. You want someone that can handle that. Now, it might be the one person that can handle it all, and that's fine and great, but it's also good if you can spread it across a few different people, the tasks that don't necessarily need communicating between all the different parts, because then that way everything just moves a lot more smoothly. And if this is your wedding, then you can enjoy it and you know that you've delegated to the people that will take care of you and take care of anything that comes up and protect you as well, so you can enjoy your day, that you and your husband to be are well taken care of. I will point out, now I'm I'm not gonna speak anything negative over you, but do be prepared for the fact that things may not quite go to plan. Isn't that just life? That's just how things go sometimes. You can plan everything out perfectly and then it rains, or something that's just completely out of your control, and it's okay. For my wedding day, it was 36 degrees, and I was in my dad's E.H. Holden, so a 1950s car that had no air con. I had not banked on the fact that in March it was going to be 36 degrees here in Australia. I mean, it's definitely possible uh because a number of years later, it was the date is very similar to when I gave birth to my first son, and it was also 36 degrees on that day. So I've definitely learned March can be a hot month. But it doesn't matter. Even though it was hot and I was sweating, and my poor dad was fanning me down because his brother was driving and dad was sitting in the back with me, he was fanning me down so my makeup wouldn't run and smear. It was hot. I was sweaty, a little bit smelly. But my girls in the bridal car, they had some deodorant. They had other things like packed for me to keep me going. So when I got out, did the photos, then quickly whacked on some deodorant before I went walking down the aisle, just touched up my makeup. Like things can go wrong, but it's okay. It just forms part of your story. And they're little things that you remember, but a lot of the time you can laugh at, you can look back on, and it's fine, depending on how you treat it in the moment. Things are gonna be out of your control once the day arrives. Everything's planned up to that point. It'll be what it'll be. And as much as you may want to control things, stop things from getting worse or anything like that, just breathe and let it go. It'll be what it's gonna be. And it's okay. If you can still end up getting married to the one that you love by the end of that day, then it's still a good day. Because we're not aiming for a perfect day. We want a day where you're present in it. Now, another practical tip we want to plan for the morning before the ceremony even starts. So a lot of the time we we plan the ceremony, we plan the reception, we plan all the extra bits depending on what culture you come from, and sometimes it can go for days. But we want to plan the morning of, for example, do you have a 10 a.m. ceremony? Well, chances are you probably need to be getting up at 3 or 4 a.m. to start your hair and makeup. I know that sounds ridiculous, but that's the truth. I had a 4 p.m. ceremony, and we were at the hairdresser and having everything done by 8 a.m. And we weren't finished till probably about 1 p.m. Hair, makeup, it can take a while. And the makeup and hair all got done at the salon at the same place. And a lot of people have them come to the home, all of that, it's great, but you need to actually plan for the morning off. Now, hair makeup, that seems kind of obvious. What about food? Who's doing breakfast? Who's doing lunch? Who's got the snacks? Who's got the protein bar for the bride so she doesn't keel over even between ceremony and reception and all of that? Because it is very taxing on the body. All the photos, all the things that have got to happen, the adrenaline, the stress, the excitement, all these things are going on. You want to have all these things planned. You want to have music even planned. So maybe as the hair and makeup and getting done, you've got some fun music in the background, things to help the bride relax, be excited if she's stressed and nervous. Maybe help tone it down a little bit if she's just really excited and all over the place and just like, ah! You know the bride. And if you are the bride, do you know yourself and what you're probably going to be like? So plan for the morning of. Don't just plan for the ceremony. Plan for all the hours before it leading up. Now that will also include the photographer, the videographer. You need to allow time for them to do their job well to capture those photos whilst you're getting your hair done, your makeup done, getting the dress put on, the veil if you use a veil, all that kind of stuff. You have to allow plenty of time for all those things that happen in the lead up to the ceremony. Now, my last main point I want to say is don't sacrifice your marriage for the wedding. There is so much buildup that happens for this one day. And it's a very important day, probably one of the most important days of your life. It's memorable, it's special, it's important and significant, all those things. But you need to be having good conversations in the lead up, conversations about your expectations in the relationship and in the marriage, your daily rhythms of how you navigate your day normally, the things you're willing to compromise on and not willing to compromise on. You need to talk about your finances. You have to talk about your finances, even ideally before you get engaged. But I understand that it can be a very stressful topic for some, but you need to talk about it before you get married, whether it's good or bad. I've heard stories of those that have brought in a lot of debt and their partner did not know. But I've also heard opposite stories where they're like multimillionaires and they were too afraid to tell their spouse to be because they thought, oh, they're gonna spend it all. You need to have the proper money conversations beforehand. And I'll and also the obvious ones children, no children, how many children, pets, the whole family dynamics. It's important to have these conversations in the lead up, but also that day will come and go. Talk about what to expect afterwards. Where are you gonna live? How is it all gonna look? Do you love the city apartment lifestyle? Do you love the country living? Do you like suburban living? Like talk about all the expectations and things for your future before you even step foot down that aisle. But also keep this wedding in perspective. I can't even tell you how many brideszilla stories I have come across. And I've got to say, people like Charlotte Dobray have very entertaining content. And so there's a lot of bridezillas out there that I have seen from just her page alone. And it's not worth it. You do not want to be a bridezilla because this wedding day, yes, it might be your special day, but it is not worth losing friendships, family, anyone over this. It's really not. Yes, you might have a particular aesthetic in mind. You might have always dreamt that it would go a certain way. And the people that you have in mind maybe don't quite fit that. Well, you know what? The people are more important. I hate to break it to you. That might mean changing some of the things that you had always dreamt of. But trust me, when you've got the people that you love there and they're happy, you're gonna have a even better day than you could have imagined as well. So as beautiful as the wedding day is, a strong intentional marriage that lasts is so much more important. And the friendships that come along with it are equally important. You want people that are going to support your marriage and uphold you and walk this journey with you because it is so tough. Now, I got married 13 years ago, as of a few weeks back. 13 years. It's a long time. And I love my husband, and we are continuing to grow, and our relationship is good. But that's not to say we haven't had our challenges. Of course, we've had our challenges, and especially when you throw four kids in the mix. There are plenty of challenges. But I I wouldn't have it any other way. I have said to him, because the years have been tough at times, that I would sell the house, I would pull the kids out of Christian school, I would risk everything if it meant that I still had him and the kids. Nothing else matters. And that's really been put to the test. That has really been put to the test. But I stand by it because all those other things can be replaced and are not as important at the end of the day. My family is. And so it's important when you're building up towards this big day that you're also keeping perspective on the whole thing as well. Because it is more important to do life with others. And I have seen, unfortunately, a number of my friends get married and those marriages fall apart for various reasons. But it is something that needs to be worked on. And it really helps when you are on the same page, the good, the bad, the ugly, before you even step foot down that aisle. But if you are in this season where you're getting married, then congratulations. I'm excited for you. As much as it can be stressful and it can be overwhelming, it's an exciting time. And I encourage you to stop, pause, and take in the little moments, especially on the day. My uncle gave me the best advice for my wedding. And he said that the day goes so quick, but it's important to stop and almost take an actual picture in your mind, like you're the old cameras where you have to push the button, you know? Where you actually stop and take a picture in your head of that particular moment. And I can tell you now, 13 years on, the moments that I can still remember are the moments that I intentionally stopped and took a mental picture in my head for that moment. They're still the ones I remember. I actually don't really remember pretty much the rest of it. It was such a whirlwind. But those particular moments I stopped and paused and took in that picture, I remember. So it's important to be intentional and the lead up to your wedding and on your day and every day after. I hope this episode helped. If you're wanting more episodes like this, where you're wanting to be organized or help plan better for particular life events, let me know, because I'm happy to create more things like this. Happy planning! If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or for some free resources, head over to beyondorganised.com/toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.