Pilates For Real Bodies And Real Life with Tabitha Green

Being told “it’s just anxiety” or “it’s just hormones” can make you doubt your own body, even when you know something is off. Today I’m joined by Tabitha, a Pilates instructor and mum who is on a mission to make Pilates feel less intimidating and far more useful for real life, especially for persistent pain, prenatal and postpartum recovery, and anyone who’s felt shut out by the glossy Pilates image online.

We talk about what changes after kids, from confidence and body image to the practical realities of time, energy, and money. Tabitha shares why “common doesn’t mean normal” matters so much for women’s health, how learning simple anatomy and better language can help you advocate at the doctor, and what postpartum support can include, like breathing mechanics, pressure management, diastasis recti guidance, pelvic floor strength, and reducing stress incontinence without shame.

We also go deep on POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) and the bigger conversation around post-viral syndromes. Tabitha explains why research and treatment pathways have lagged for decades, what protocols exist, and why a calmer, nervous system aware Pilates programme can be a more achievable starting point for some people living with chronic illness and fatigue.

If you’ve ever felt like movement “isn’t for your body” or that you need perfection before you can start, this chat offers a kinder, more practical way forward. Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more mums find the show.

Follow Tabitha on Instagram @talltreepilates and her website is: www.achytoactive.com

Transcript

Welcome To Beyond Organised

Mel 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode of Beyond Organized. I have Tabitha here with us today, and I am going to get this lovely lady to give you a little bit of an introduction as to who she is and what she does.

Tabitha 1:13

Take it away. Thank you. My name is Tabitha. I am so incredibly excited here to be on your podcast. So right now I'm a busy mom, uh Pilates instructor. I focus on persistent pain pre- and postnatal. And right now, a lot of making Pilates more accessible. You know, I think a lot of what we see on Instagram can be really intimidating and not necessarily a good representation of everything that Pilates can be. Like I've been an instructor for longer than I care to admit. And um I'm intimidated by the Pilates on Instagram. I was like, what? Yeah. I don't look like them. Yeah, I don't look like them. Yeah, try it. And I I mean I've used to be used to be a professional dancer. So I couldn't I used to be able to do all those moves, but I'm still like now in my body after children versus in my twenties in a dance company. It's so different and humbling and sometimes humbling. Humbling and upsetting.

Mel 2:13

Yeah, no, frustrating. Yeah.

Tabitha 2:16

So um, so I'm I'm really in the process right now of launching um my online website called AK to Active so that I can work with more people with Pilates, but as Pilates honestly is a method for people, specifically women, to become more comfortable in their bodies. You know, when I work with people one-on-one, I become like somewhat of their favorite day of the week or favorite hour of the week. It's not like going to the dentist or like, yeah, you know. So it's it's also hard to come home because like I have one client who who doesn't leave her house. She's older, and she just showers me in praises. And then I come home and my kids are like, I don't yeah, exactly.

Mel 3:03

I know what you mean. It is hard when you're appreciated in a different environment and you come home and you just you're back to just being mom and wife and everything else, and then life just goes back and you're like, uh, why can't you see me the way they see me?

Tabitha 3:21

That is so true. And it's it's just it's so nice to be seen that way and and treated with that way. Appreciated. Oh my goodness.

Mel 3:30

Yeah. Yeah. I get it. So, Tabitha, what inspired you to actually get started in doing the Pilates and all that? I I can tell that you care about mums in particular with the whole pre and post-natal thing, but I'd love to hear what actually inspired you to get started in it.

From Dance Career To Pilates

Tabitha 3:50

So thank you for asking. I actually um I was in school to be a contemporary dancer. And, you know, you can't make money in the States like that, really. So I was like, well, I could do yoga, or I took class from one of my fellow company members and she was a Pilates instructor, and I was like, oh, I kind of like this. And you know, as dancers, you need to be strong, but you can't be bulky. So I was like, oh, I, and then I'm tall. So I got in a contemporary company, I ended up playing a lot of what would typically be a male role in a ballet company where I'm the base for the lifts. So the Pilates helped me be really strong so I could be the base for a lift, but still, you know, be um not with that added bulk that you would get if you did heavy weights and low reps. Yeah, yep, still quite feminine. Yep, still quite stare. And you know, it's funny is even contemporary dance is not as stereotypical as ballet, but there is still like a hint of it left over, unfortunately.

Mel 4:49

So what happened in I assume leaving that dance world and coming into the Pilates, was it actually having your own children that kind of made that transition happen, or was it before that?

Tabitha 5:00

It was before that. So I was in a company for six years after college, and and then I had my first daughter, and I wasn't, I was still dancing a little bit, but I started getting daily persistent headaches, and I started just not feeling right, and I ended up having to move in with my in-laws, and I had all these like random, mysterious illnesses and symptoms they just couldn't figure out. Well, they finally did fast forward, but through that process, it made me really want to help other women advocate for themselves. And a lot of that starts with being comfortable with your body, right? And comfortable with the thoughts that you have. Um, so that, you know, I cannot speak for women elsewhere, but in the Midwest, there's this thing called Midwestern niceness. And women are, you know, when we when we advocate for our needs, instead of people looking at it as um being an advocate, it's sort of looked as more of aggressive. Yeah, like being selfish or something. So trying a little bit to break down that barrier so that, you know, when you go to the doctor, if you're starting to get these symptoms, whatever they may be, and the doctor's like, oh honey, you just had some kids. It's anxiety, you'll be fine. Yeah, it's hormones.

Mel 6:08

It's in your head, it's uh yeah.

Tabitha 6:11

All of that. You're like, no, actually, that's it.

When Doctors Dismiss Women’s Symptoms

Mel 6:14

I think that's more common around the world than you think. That happens here too. It's uh you really have to fight when you know that you just know that something's not quite right in your body, something is off. It is hard. Like, I've got a fantastic female doctor. I love her if anything's come up. Um, but she's rare. She's like, she's not the norm, unfortunately. And uh yeah, so as much as it might be a Midwestern thing there, it's it's happened around the world too. So I I feel your story in that, I really do.

Tabitha 6:52

And that's that's so frustrating, right? That it's that it's something that's hard. Yeah, it shouldn't, it shouldn't be as hard. And you know, as a PLADIS instructor, after my second daughter, I had um um organ prolapse, so uterine level prolapse one, which is not very and it presented with me as just when I walked, things felt heavy, you know, like not the wrong place. Not not in the right place, not in the right place. And I was like, oh, and you know, but but I knew what to say to the doctor. I was like, this feels heavy, this doesn't feel right. But if somebody without my background, it could go years without being treated. And and the treatment was just a little bit of PT because it was so minor. But with without being treated, without me knowing what I did about my body and anatomy, it could have gotten a lot worse, you know? Yeah.

Mel 7:44

And that's a lot of women. The podcast before you had lovely nutritionists on, and she was talking about the body from a nutrition perspective. And again, with the body, until we are actually educated to an extent and actually understanding how our body works, we kind of don't really know. Like I for me, I don't really know. I know that even in my own body, I've got inflammation and things, but um, and I'm working on it, but I still I don't know how to put into words what it is that I'm feeling or how it's going. And because I've lived with it for years. I mean, my youngest is 18 months now. Um, but you know, I've had four kids, so it's a bit of a, you know, a bit of a journey, but it's like, you know, things just don't quite feel right. And it's like, oh, you're getting older, oh, you're getting this. It's like, well, yes, I am, but this also doesn't feel like it should be this way, but I don't know how to put it into words. So I love that you could actually put into words what you needed because those of us not in this health industry and somewhat educated are just I I really don't, I don't even know how to point. So I just get brushed off.

Tabitha 8:57

So it's hard. You're you're gonna get brushed off. And one of my favorite phrases to combat that is just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal.

Mel 9:07

Yeah.

Tabitha 9:08

Yeah. Right.

Mel 9:09

I love that. It's so true. Because how many women do you come across that are saying how they're stressed out, they're overworked, they're they're overwhelmed and they're frustrated and anxious and all these other things. But because so many women are like that, it's like, oh well, that's normal. That's just life with little kids or whatever. And it's like, but it shouldn't be, shouldn't be that way. And I mean, that's part of what I do in how helping mums and that as well. But it's like just because a lot of people live that way doesn't mean that's how you should or you need to live. Like, it doesn't have to be that way. I found a better way.

Tabitha 9:46

It's possible that you do. Exactly. I know. I was I was looking through um your Instagram account and your YouTube page, and I love how you say prepared and not perfect. Yeah, yeah. I say that a lot. Yeah, prepared and not perfect.

Mel 10:01

That's just it's it's being aware of and helping being flexible enough for whatever comes up, you know? Because life happens, and I'm sure you experience this in what you do. Like, there's you've got to be a level of flexibility for injury, right? Or for just life situation. You've got to be flexible enough and be able to adapt, but also it's good to just keep trying, keep going, don't give up, don't quit, don't stop. Like, just anything really just is still moving forward, even if it's not quite at the level that you're wanting to. And honestly, I've I've aimed for that, the bar on perfection before. And it I was it way more miserable than when I was disorganized like 12 years ago. I I got to a level where everything was perfect, you know, not a mark on the wall, whatever. But my kids couldn't even breathe, you know, like it was just nothing could be out of place. I was way more miserable aiming for perfect, and I see the beautiful pantries and I see lovely homes and everything on Instagram. And that's great if they can live that way. But reality is you got kids, things are gonna end up sitting on the bench for a day or whatever else. But it's just it's having some level of plan and and having priorities and putting the rest aside, having, you know, just the skills and the systems that work for your life now. So it's having a level of preparation, but we do not aim for perfect. So yeah. Anyway, I've just hijacked your thing.

Postpartum Prolapse And Body Awareness

Tabitha 11:35

So no, no, that it's beautifully said, right? So, so honestly said. And um, I read a book a couple of years ago that a client of mine actually recommended called How to Keep Housewill Drowning. Um, and the biggest, well, there's a few takeaways, but um, the biggest takeaway was to do things around the house that were kind to future me. You know, like because I also so how I ended up with pre- and postnatal women was just like, oh my gosh, I can't believe our healthcare is this piss poor. Like, you know, there's a lot of things that you can do in labor and delivery to encourage a birth to go right. But our OBGYNs, because of the litigiousness of our society, are just taught how to keep things from going wrong. Yeah, yeah. Right. And that that creates a very different shift. Like there's an optimal fetal positioning. You know, we we like to pretend we're not mammals, but we are. So if we don't feel safe, it's gonna make things feel be so much more hard. And then I also started getting, you know, sick and ill. And with the kids and the illness, I just couldn't keep what you were talking about, like that Instagram perfect house or whatever my neighbor was. So crushing.

Mel 12:50

It actually is soul crushing, isn't it? It's like I'm not good enough. Like I can't keep up. What's wrong with me? And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Like you are in the same boat as 99% of other women out there going through the same thing, looking at this one percent, who, by the way, off camera, there is crap everywhere. Like I'm sure there is, yeah. It's it's not nobody really lives in a show home. And if you do, then you probably don't have kids or they don't have a good life. Let's face it, like, you know, it's just the reality, but that's also why I'm doing she's organized, why I've got this podcast, Beyond Organized, because it starts with people wanting to get organized, but it just goes so much more than that, and going, well, we don't get organized just for the sake of being organized. It's like, what's the the means here? It's to have better relationships, more time with our kids, enjoy our jobs more, whatever it is, like it's to enjoy our lives, it's to it's for what's beyond the organizing. Like, and even then, you know, I've got cereal in their boxes, and that because I did the canisters, I did all of that. And my kids would still ask me, where's this? Where's that? And it's like staring them in the face. If it's in the box, they can see it, they can deal with it themselves. It's still organized, it's still all lined up in the pantry. I just don't have to double handle, I don't have to tell my kids where it is, they can do it themselves. Like it's made my life easier, just keeping it in the damn box. Yeah, absolutely. Anyway.

Tabitha 14:35

Well, as long as it's not humid, right? Like, you know, if you're living, if you're living in Hawaii, like in a humid climate.

Prepared Not Perfect At Home

Mel 14:41

So yes, yeah, you might need refrigeration, you might need some sort of airtight container. Um, there are there are a couple of things I have gotten egg tight containers because you know once the cereal bags open or whatever, it's just gonna go yuck. So fair enough. But even then, you just gotta make life easier for yourself, don't make it harder. So going back to you in this, I'm sorry to take over again. Oh, that's okay. What do you feel is something when it comes to Pilates in particular, pre-postnatal, all of that? What's something you find holds women back in going for it, in doing it?

Tabitha 15:25

Um, I think some of it's just lack of familiarity, right? Like if it's new, so then it's unexpected. It could also be that you don't have like an accountability partner or a buddy or somebody to do it with. And and also sometimes it may just be accessibility, right? And then also there's, you know, there's a lot of infighting in the Plotties world. So I don't know if we're necessarily as a as an industry selling or sending, well, we're trying to sell, so we're not sending the right message, I think, right? Like, but once people get in the door, then it's usually community goals. And then honestly, habit. I feel like motivation, we're kind of like, you know, oh, I'm just not motivated, I'm just not motivated. Motivation just gets you started. It's habit that keeps you there. I don't rely on motivation for anything. Just get on with it. Right. It's so it's it's an unreliable partner.

Mel 16:14

Yeah.

Tabitha 16:15

It's a great, great like cheerleader at the beginning, but it, you know, it but then it needs to be habit, right? You can do all those things like habit stack. And I think it's also just recognize that you're going to have some mental resistance. Yeah. Just acknowledge that it's going to need it. Yeah, it's change. You know, when things come up and and then it's just a commitment to being consistent. Yeah. Um I think also for some people though, it's price. Plotties can be very expensive. Okay.

Mel 16:43

You know, so I guess it depends on whether you're doing it sort of through your gym or as a standalone thing or at home.

Tabitha 16:52

Right. Yeah. So, you know, so like with my Aheadactive.com, like my online business, it's it's geared more towards people with chronic illness and pain, and then also POTS, which is I've got two friends with POTS.

Mel 17:05

It's become it, I I I never even heard of it pre-COVID, after COVID. Got two friends with it. I've heard more people with it. Where the heck has this come from? But anyway, sorry, keep going.

Tabitha 17:18

Yeah, so oh wait, so well, quick side note. So POTS is um postural orthostatic tachycardia syndromes. It's your blood pressure being affected by um heart rate and a lot of other things. Yeah, it it's a form of postviral syndrome that's actually been around for a really long time. It just happens to be a very common form of postviral syndrome for COVID.

Mel 17:39

Yeah, that's where it's like the trigger.

Tabitha 17:41

Yeah. And here's the part that'll make you make people with POTS really mad is that they've the medical community has known about postviral syndromes for a long time, specifically with mono and Epstein Barr virus. Oh, don't quote me on this, but I think Epstein Barr virus is what causes mono. Um, and they have studied it extensively, but not in forms of like how to help people get over like the lasting of effects after the initial virus is worn off. I mean, to the point where there was like, if you had had Epstein Barr and then you got to malaria in Africa, then you could develop these facial tumors, but only if you had Epstein Barr virus first. Yeah, okay. In a certain order. But they have in these 40, probably now 60 years, done nothing for treatments or cures. Zero zilch, like zero research. So the only silver lining to this is that enough people have POTS at the same time that they're demanding better answers. And then then money gets into research.

Mel 18:42

Yeah.

Tabitha 18:42

It's come like these two ladies.

Mel 18:45

Um, one of them, my best friend, since we were teenagers, her life has completely turned upside down. She's a single mom. She's only working like three hours a week now from home because she can't cope with more than that. She's on her recliner most of the time with her feet elevated. And as soon as she stands up, she's at risk of passing out. She gets her groceries delivered in because she can't even go to the grocery store anymore without fear of passing out. Like it's just her whole life is upside down, and it's really hard to stay mentally in check when you can't do any of the things that you used to. And I know that not everyone is extreme as that. Like, I understand there's varying levels, but like that breaks my heart knowing who she is, the life she had in her, and the life she's got now. It's hard. I know she's not gonna stay there. We are both determined to see her heal and move forward and reclaim her life. But it is a really, really tough season, anyway.

Tabitha 19:48

It's just it's such a tough season, and it sounds like she's really doing a lot of the things that you need to do, right? Like from that book of.

Mel 20:05

All the things it's just what else does she do? I've encouraged her to write a book so that can you can do something in that time. So feeling a bit excited about that.

What Stops Women Starting Pilates

Tabitha 20:14

Yeah, have her or contact me after and I can and after we're done recording, we can talk specifically about things that she can do.

Mel 20:20

Yeah. Oh, I love that. So you were saying that with research and everything, and and with pots and helping the women in this case, how how does that help you in what you're doing with the Pilates?

Tabitha 20:34

Yeah, so I'm if you go to look, how do I say this? There isn't a standardized set of things to do for exercise. There's one protocol called Chops by Dr. Levine in the States. You can download it for free from the internet. It's a series of PT exercises and a cardio program, but for a lot of people, the cardio program is too much. So the PLODIS program for POTS that I've developed is a little bit more calming to the nervous system than the PT exercises. There were listed. They are good. I'm not trying to knock this by any means, shapes, or forms. Um, but the focus is more on a little bit more um autonomic nervous system regulation through exercise, through some breathing techniques, through a few other techniques that have been around for a long time. They're so simple, easy, free to do in your own home. And then eventually I would love to, you know, create a study and see where it goes from there. Yeah.

Mel 21:29

Well, getting some more data um around this would definitely be out of help in more women and more people as a whole being able to be free of this. And just sort of on a side note, because I I'm, you know, a bit overweight, all of that. And when I think of Pilates, I think of people that are already quite fit, you know, for extra flexibility and things like that. Whether they've got pots, whether they don't, and they're healthy enough. Where do you fit in terms of like weight limit, even in doing things like Pilates? Like, is there a particular weight cutoff or it can is it open to anyone? Like, because I feel like there's a bit of machinery and stuff involved too. Like, what happens if you're a bigger person in wanting to give it a go?

Tabitha 22:19

Um, I would say first and foremost, go someplace that you would feel comfortable, right? Where it may not be a bunch of, you know, very petite 19-year-olds wearing the latest athleisure wear. You know, so I would so I would pick a studio that has more real bodies. In the States, it's often like a Plotties and physical therapy studio. I think you guys call it physiotherapy. Yeah. Um and we um so so I would say first find a place that's comfortable and more your vibe. And then the equipment is great. I have um a male client who's like 6'6 and upwards of 350. And there's only one or two exercises where I'm like, oh, we could tip this little tiny chair. Not really because of his weight, but because of how tall he is. Like, yeah, maybe the leverage, the leverage of it, you know. So I've never had trouble with height or weight. I mean, there's definitely it's easier with weight than it is with height. You know, I think the equipment really does kind of cut off at about six five and truly it's it's best between like five one and five ten. But that's but that's the majority of most people. Yeah. Especially for women who we're talking to in the and if you're taller or shorter, there are ways that we can work around it, and it's totally fine, and it's super easy to do. They're just, you know, sometimes you would need a yoga block to stand instead of the floor, right? There's just tiny little adjustments that that you make that we all make as moms in our daily life and don't even think about it, right?

Mel 24:01

Yeah, that is so true. That's so true. So, what is one thing that you would love for women out there to know? Oh my gosh, one thing.

POTS And The Research Gap

Tabitha 24:11

I know, just one. Just one thing. I I honestly think it would be along the lines of um truly self-care. Like not the not the bubble baths and the dim lights. But really, whatever it means that you have more agency over your thoughts about yourself and the relationship you have with you, you know, it's like, because I was talking with somebody the other day about the golden rule, like treat somebody how you'd want to be treated. But what if you treat yourself like crap? Yeah. How are you gonna be able to treat anybody else if if you don't know how if you that's how you treat yourself?

Mel 24:58

Yeah. Though for a lot of people, they give everyone the royal treatment and then treat themselves like crap. So, which obviously doesn't fit the golden rule rule because you're not treating them the same way, but it's like everyone else is up on this pedestal and somehow you feel like you're worth nothing. So you just talk down to yourself and that, and there's just no way for so many women, there's just no way that we would even talk to a friend the way that we would talk to ourselves. I always encourage people the if you're struggling with that, then talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Would you catch yourself saying that to a friend? No, then don't say it to yourself. Doesn't pass the test, you know? So as a real basic way to start, it's so so important.

Tabitha 25:48

It's a beautiful way to start. Yeah.

Mel 25:50

Yeah.

Tabitha 25:50

And to piggyback on that, I would say even talk to yourself in the third person like you would a friend. You know? If the thoughts are really, really damaging or detrimental. Let's see. Okay, come on, Mel, we've got this.

Mel 26:05

We can do it instead of, oh, you silly girl, why'd you make that mistake again? You know, that doesn't help anyone.

Tabitha 26:12

Right. Well, and then like a lot of things of a goal of organization. And and if you start talking to yourself that way, and then all of a sudden you become the kind of person that is just more organized versus it having to be a goal that you either achieve or don't achieve.

Mel 26:26

Yeah. Look, organizing is just really one very small piece of the puzzle. People don't go out of their way to necessarily like rate themselves on how well they're doing in terms of organizing in a day. They they would compare it as to how how they felt in a day, how their children behaved in the day, how their husband responds to them in the day. You measure on other things, but organizing can help facilitate those healthier relationships and healthier experiences and create the memories that you want to create because you've actually got the time to create them or the money to create them or whatever it is. So organizing's not the end game. It's really just a small piece of the puzzle. But yeah, as much as I dive into the pieces of the puzzle, I get people in the door through organizing.

Tabitha 27:17

Yeah. I mean, but that's a beautiful way to start because it's it's something that you can see a quick, easy win with, right? Then you're tapping into all those lovely brain chemicals that keep you going, like we were saying, habit versus motivation. Then you're tapping into like the dopamine and the serotonin, and you're like, oh, okay, and now I'm on board. This feels good. Yeah.

Mel 27:37

And now let's work on your identity and your nervous system and like all these other things. It's like people don't come to me for all that, but then they discover that in the process. And I'm sure that is the same thing with you. They come to you for Pliates because they're like, I need to get a bit healthier, I need to get a bit more flexible, I need to get a bit fitter. And then there's all these layers, right? That just get unpacked in the process.

Tabitha 28:03

Yeah, they really do. It's it's interesting how that happens, right? Like it's it starts with movement, but really what it really ends up being is more comfortable with yourself. Yeah.

Mel 28:15

You know, and that's really we've only got one body, haven't we? Yeah. Like this has got to see us through our whole life. So we want to treat it well. And someone like myself struggled with weight a lot in my life, and I'm in a better place now than I have been for a long time. But it is a constant journey, and it probably will be for the rest of my life. It's just one of those things, and genetics works against me and everything else, but that's okay because I've I'm taking accountability for what I can control and doing what I can, but some of us have it a bit harder than others. You know, maybe if you're a healthy 20-something, you've got a little bit easier now. Maybe there's challenges down the track. I don't know. There's people that in their 40s, 50s, 60s, but they've also worked for it. So you've got to, yeah, you've just gotta listen to your own body, right? And make good decisions for your own body and do the best you can. And I've I've been very keen on the thought of Pilates, but I haven't been very comfortable at the thought of being in front of others, still being a bigger girl. But this is giving me food for thought. So I like it.

Building A Calmer POTS Programme

Tabitha 29:27

That's great. You know, like I love how honest and candid you are about your experience with your body and body image and weight. I really think Pilates and and and bodies need to come in all different shapes and sizes. There is such a large range of healthy and beautiful, and we are sold this like 19-year-old stick figure. Yeah. I was never that even when I was 19. I know. And and honestly, it's it may help some of your listeners and and to know like that comes from Twiggy, a model in New York, and George Balanchine, a male choreographer from Paris that moved to New York. And that was the first time that Skinny became popular. Until then, it was actually more well-rounded women.

Mel 30:18

Yeah. I would have done well in the previous past. I've got enough curves.

Tabitha 30:22

Yeah. And it was also a sign of status because it meant that you could afford food. Yeah. Yes.

Mel 30:29

Right. Well, could afford food, but also I've had four children, so I was good for the child rearing.

Tabitha 30:36

Yeah, that too. Exactly. A hundred percent. So, you know, a lot of this really didn't come around in in until very recently. And I and it's it's so frustrating for me having having two daughters now, watching this sort of evolution of body shame and this like trying to fit into this ideal that it's just kind of ridiculous. And now like you can be what they call skinny fat, which is I was just about to say that. It's just as hard on the other end too. It really is. Yeah. Well, it's just this, and it's and here's the thing. And going back to doctors, here's the thing being what they call it's there's a there's a name for it, and I can't remember it. It's it's such a big scientific name, but it's it's you still don't have the same muscle mass that you need. Like, because what it really is more than fat is that we need more muscle. You know, and there's a lot of great ways to get muscle. You know, there's type one muscles, which is the cardio, the walking that we need. And there are more type two muscles, which is then the strength training. And as women, we start to lose muscle mass as we age and then also bone density. So it's important that we train both types of muscles, the walking muscle, and it doesn't have to be a run. We're not cheetahs. We don't need to, we don't need to run to catch our food unless you want to.

Mel 31:54

If I'm running, then you need to start running because there is something chasing me. That's the only time running. Right? Or you're gonna stop your child from getting to the street, right?

Tabitha 32:04

Like there's a reason you're running.

Mel 32:06

Actually, yeah, I did have to run after my one-year-old yesterday because got walked out of daycare and he's walking everywhere now and he loves it. And um, he was just running straight out the driveway, straight onto the road. I mean, I was only two steps behind him, but it was just a quick like run because he takes off and like quickly scoop him up. He thinks it's a game, he thinks it's funny, he's giggling, he's laughing, and I'm like, there's a car that just went straight past. Like, fire out, these kids.

Tabitha 32:35

Right. Your heart's 150 beats a minute and you're tripping in sweat.

Mel 32:39

And he's like, Yay! I know, he's over the top of his life thinking I'm chasing him. And oh yeah, mommy's running. And it's like, yeah, it's because I'm trying to save your life. Stop running. Oh gosh.

Tabitha 32:54

That is parenting in a nutshell.

Mel 32:57

I know, right? It's like, oh, they're alive for another day, thank you, Lord. That's my job.

Tabitha 33:05

But even though I always felt their first birthday was like for me for keeping them alive, not for them.

Mel 33:12

It's like it, right? And it should be about us. We can, for goodness sake. No. It's like, oh well done. You turned one, you did nothing. I did it all. But we'll celebrate you because we love you and you're cute.

Tabitha 33:33

Exactly. Yeah.

Pilates For Bigger And Taller Bodies

Mel 33:36

Anyway, oh, I could go on other tangents, but I won't.

Tabitha 33:41

It's you know, it's it's amazing how how children change the body. And and Pilates is not not by any means the only method of exercise out there, but it is a great postpartum exercise because it helps with breathing, right? So, and then that helps manage. So we have like pressures with air and breathing, right? It helps manage the pressure and teaches you how to manage it on your own, which then helps manage diastasis, right? When the diaphragm. When the abs splits.

Mel 34:11

So diastasis is like we have that it's like the separation thing. Yeah.

Tabitha 34:19

And then also, you know, and then with continence, right? Nobody likes to talk about that. But like, you know, like whisper to a client when the they're new in my class, I'm like, okay, so do you pee, sneeze, laugh, sneeze, like you know, like quietly, nobody else hears. But like those are things I kind of need to know because I'm like engage the class on, you know, how to make the same exercise, a pelvic floor exercise by how we breathe and what we focus on. And then, you know, then three months down the road, you can cough 10 times before before you leak versus once, which is then a huge success. And you don't feel like more empowering. And you're not worried about like, do you bring a change of clothing? Right. Like just like just walk out the door. So that's that is one of my biggest common but not normals. Like, and I cannot tell you how many OBGYNs I've had that conversation with. Well, they'll be like, because I had problems with my second pregnancy, and I was like, I went to the OB and I was like, look, I have got that cold that everybody has. I won't stop coughing. I am pea-sneezing all the time. And she's like, Oh, well, you're pregnant. I'm like, it's not hormonal because it's happening when I'm coughing, which makes it stress incontinence, not urge incontinence. And I'm literally educating my OBG UN. I'm like, I hope you can deliver is better than you can do this. Wow. And she did. She was like, but um, but I did lose a little confidence in the profession because those are the questions she should have been asking me because she's the she's the person. Yeah, the professional in that. Yeah. Right? So it's just like we just need a little bit more education. And like you were saying earlier, the words, the language. So it's like from up here and you know, glitter in the sky to like tangible. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Real Self Care And Self Talk

Mel 36:03

I feel like more than ever we are getting better at being able to discuss these things from menstruation through the incontinence and all these other things that before was just like, oh my goodness, I'm gonna burn at the stake or something. Like it was just like horrible, you know? But it's just now it's like, okay, we're getting better as a as a society. But even me, like thinking about these things, there's still like a little bit that happens on the inside that's like, oh, that's private. Oh, I shouldn't. But it's like, I am not saying anything that any other woman out there hasn't like experienced, like one way or another. I mean, every woman over the age of 12 probably has experienced menstruating. And every woman that's had a baby delivering via cesarean doesn't matter. The baby put a lot of pressure on things down there. Um continents, like, it might be great for bounce back within a week, might not bounce back until you get professional help. Like it's just yeah, we're all there. And as much as I grew up very private, very private with everything, even just through this podcast and just sharing things how it is, and just going, you know what, this has been freeing for me too. Like, even just talking about this stuff, because it's like this is normal. Why are we putting shame attached to these things that are just it's just how it is? So I like that you're talking about it and you're bringing awareness to that side of it too. So I like that.

Tabitha 37:40

Thank you. Yeah. It is it is private and it is uncomfortable. And then we're you're just not gonna get help, right? Like, and we can do it in a way that respects that sense of privacy without there being shame and blame, right? That can keep it sort of like, yeah, I'm still uncomfortable talking about it. You know, I don't I don't think I was this comfortable talking about it until I've been teaching Plates for okay, I'll minute 21 years.

Mel 38:05

So you're in the 22. Wow. Oh, I think that's a good thing.

Tabitha 38:16

You know, there's a way that we can we can do it where people still feel like a little bit of that a Victorian era modesty, and which is okay. It's okay, it's okay. Yeah, because that's where we are right now, and that's fine. And then I think then I think as a at least the culture where I'm at, we've we've now started talking more about childbirth and the things that happen, and and even miscarriage, which is yes, that's a huge one.

Mel 38:39

I mean most women experience it. Most women. I mean, and not even just once, multiple times.

Tabitha 38:47

Like that's another whole another whole kind of words. And then and then whether or not we decide to have children, every single woman's gonna go through perimenopause. And we're just now getting good books and science at it. I was like, didn't my like mother and grandmother and great grandmother go through this with like suffering in silence?

Mel 39:08

Like, oh, she's just a crazy lady, or you know, she's just a nag, she's just grumpy, and just like, you know, and it's like, hang on a second, poor woman is suffering in silence.

Tabitha 39:19

Right. Yeah, like you kind of wondered, like, well, how much of that was, you know, the crazy old lady, and how much of that was just like she didn't get the medical help she needed.

Mel 39:27

Yeah. And probably being dismissed by husband, by society, by other things, even if she did speak up. We are progressing. Yeah. But um, I'm hoping that even by the next generation we're in a much better balance with all these things, even if we're not quite there yet. I'm hoping that the next generation will be.

Tabitha 39:47

So Me too.

Mel 39:49

We'll see.

Tabitha 39:49

We'll do our part, won't we? We and we are, right? With with talking about it, being candid and raising our children, I think, very intentionally or as intentional as possible.

Mel 40:03

Yep. No, I'm the same. I yeah, I think intention is the key, really. So anyway, we could talk. We we clearly could talk for a very long time.

Tabitha 40:14

But I've given all of my favorite hot button topics.

Where To Find Tabitha And Closing

Mel 40:17

Yeah. So good. Well, we'll wrap it up for today, but who knows what the future might hold.

Tabitha 40:24

Yeah, that would be great.

Mel 40:26

Absolutely. So if someone listening would love to get in touch with you, would love to know a bit more about what you do with Pilates, especially if they're US-based or anything like that, where is the best place to find you?

Tabitha 40:38

Yeah, so my website, aiky toactive.com. And then I also um on all the channels at Aiky to Active, and then I still have a channel on Instagram and Facebook for Tall Tree Pilates, which is my in-person business here.

Mel 40:52

Yeah, lovely. Well, I'll make sure all the details and links are in the show notes to make it nice and easy for everyone. But thank you so much for coming on, Tabatha. It was a real pleasure getting to know you.

Tabitha 41:03

Thank you. It was it was a pleasure for you as well. For for me as well. It was very lovely. Thank you.

Mel 41:10

The pleasure was all yours. The pleasure was all yours. I love it. I love it. All right, well, thank you again.

Tabitha 41:19

Thank you.

Mel 41:20

If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or for some free resources, head over to beyondorganised.com/toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.