Drop The Super Mum Mask with Carrie Newport

You can be doing all the right things and still feel like you’re disappearing. That’s why this chat with Carrie Newport hits so hard: it’s honest, practical, and full of hope for any mum who’s been stuck in survival mode for years and quietly calling it “normal”. Carrie is a single mum of three, an author, and a certified life coach, and she shares how she stopped just functioning and started truly living again. 

We talk about the pressure to wear the Super Mum mask, how fear of judgement keeps women isolated, and why finding community as a mum of teens or adult kids can be just as important as those early years. Carrie opens up about writing her book from decades of journalling through grief, divorce, and deep challenges, and we get real about the hidden cost of creative work and purpose-led business: the learning curve, the stretch, and the need to keep going when the “shift” hasn’t happened yet. 

Carrie also shares the coaching tools she leans on most, including her seasons framework for healing, and a tiny habit that’s perfect for overwhelmed mums: five minutes to write three sentences, no polishing required. We weave into parenting neurodivergent kids, autism advocacy, and why life skills, love, and a fair go can matter more than grades. If you’ve been asking, “Where did I go?” or “Is it too late to find myself?”, this one will meet you right where you are. 

Follow Carrie on Instagram @cariemarie38 or on Facebook Carrie Newport

Subscribe, share this with a mum who needs it, and leave a review so more women can find the support they’ve been missing.

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Carrie

Mel 0:18

Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode of Beyond the Organized. I have Carrie Marie here with us today. Now she is a lovely single mum of three, wild-certified life coach, an author of reflections, and a new book on the way, I hear. After years of losing herself in survival mode while raising her kids, including fiercely advocating for her 17-year-old daughter with autism, Carrie learned how to stop simply functioning and start truly living. Today she helps women drop the Super Mum mask. Yep, I think we all need that. Navigate life's hardest winters and rediscover their worth. Welcome to the show, Carrie.

Carrie 1:40

Oh, thank you so much for having me. I do really appreciate this.

Mel 1:43

Oh, it's lovely having you here.

Carrie 1:46

Yes. I'm not a super mum, but I have the amazing sweater that says I am.

Finding Community And Writing The Book

Carrie 1:51

Oh that where can I get one of them?

Mel 1:55

That's perfect. Let me know. I'll just wrap it down to Universal. Is it a Captain America?

Carrie 2:01

It is.

Mel 2:02

Well done. I bought it at Universal. I love all the superheroes, but that that's a story for another time. So, Kerry, I would love to hear what inspired you to become an author for starters, but also to become a coach in helping mums in particular with what they are going through.

Carrie 2:25

Gotcha. Yeah, no, not a problem. Um, so about up to about almost uh about two years ago, I I was just uh a mom, just raising, just being a mom and going to work. And um I realized that I was alone. And don't get me wrong, I had family, I had my mom, but at the same time, I didn't really have any community. And um, I had stopped going to church for a very, very long time. And my middle daughter, uh Kaylee Marie, she uh she's was very much involved in a church. And she encouraged me that this church that she goes to is starting a new group for sm for moms of all ages. Because you know, you see here of groups for like moms of kids with preschoolers or middle schoolers, but you don't hear of groups for moms with teenagers and grown children. Uh since they were doing that.

Mel 3:26

Kidding, kidding.

Carrie 3:28

No, no. So she encouraged me. I I went in and I met this amazing person named Kat Katleen, and she's now become my best friend of all. I am anytime I need anything, I'll go to her and we're great with each other. Um she's a mom four, and her youngest is three. So it's kind of busy too. Yes. So I started going to this um group with them, and it was called, it's called Mom Co., um, which is actually a big thing. It actually just came over to Australia not that long ago, too.

Mel 3:58

It sounds really familiar.

Carrie 4:00

It used to be Mops. Do you I don't know if it was based out of MOPS, moms of preschoolers.

Mel 4:06

Yeah, it sounds really, really familiar. I'm pretty sure some of my friends are part of it or in it. So yeah, continue.

Carrie 4:13

It's a it's it's an amazing no, it's good. It's an amazing group. But now it within the last the year that I started was used literally the year that like, well, moms need more support after the preschool years. Yeah. So they used to literally just kick you out after preschool. There's so much more. So much more you need help with, especially as you get older. So and I was at a point where I'm like, do I really want to be in a community? Do I really want to do this? And with the encouragement of my daughter, I I finally went back. Um, I even explained the moment in my book that uh it just that my daughter even came out to the car and got me out of the car because I was so fearful of walking in by myself. Wow, wow. Yeah, Mike Kaylee is amazing. Um amazing how your kids become your encouragement and your support to the way you work to them. And um so I went to the case. You did a good job. I did, I did. She's she's she's trying to move out on me now. Um she's 25 now. Yeah.

Mel 5:13

That's okay. It's about time, probably.

Carrie 5:16

Yeah. But I met met this amazing group, and within that first year, I kind of started opening up more and realizing that wow, there is some really great people out here. There were other moms like me. Um, so I started attending more, and after that first year, I felt so amazing. I actually went to the second season, and then from that season is where I got the encouragement and the support to write my book. And I've always I've always written. I've written journals since as long as I can remember. And so the book is based off of all of my journals from all my trials and tribulations, from growing up, um, from uh getting to the point of getting married, and then uh having my son, and then um my daughters, uh Kaylee was actually a twin, and I lost one of my twins, uh Kylie Marie. Um, and then moving on, and then getting divorced, and then my dad died right after that, too. And I also had a niece that died of SIDS within all of that time. Oh,

Leaving A Toxic Job For Purpose

Carrie 6:16

that was all within a three hour, three-year period. So I started pouring my heart more into my journals, and I realized I actually had a story in there that maybe I could share, maybe other women could resonate with me and see that you don't have to be alone. So that's where it all came from. And um, and then as I was working, uh I was in a very toxic workplace and where they would just didn't want to help you, and they just made you feel like you were nothing. And after almost the 10-year mark, and I finally realized I need to do something.

Mel 6:51

Ten years.

Carrie 6:52

Ten years.

Mel 6:54

Oh my gosh, gosh. I mean, I stayed at a company nine years, but it was amazing. That's why I stayed so long. I could not imagine staying somewhere for 10 years that was so toxic.

Carrie 7:08

Yeah. Well, I did six years in the parks as guest services, and then it got to a point where um I got a transfer to go upstairs to the communications team, which is more the corporate office. And I thought, well, maybe a change, maybe different management. Come to find out, it was the same management that had been downstairs, it's coming up, and they all, you know, switching around. So I I pushed through, I pushed through another four years, and then for like six months, I sat on it and I sat with God and I said, What do I need to do? I can't keep doing this. Um, it's draining me mentally. And physically, I was getting really sick. I I ended up going for emergency gallbladder surgery. Um I've had that too. Yeah. No, and um, it just kind of made me stop and think and look at my life and go, what do I actually want to do? And when I started receiving more and more people telling me that they loved my book and that they really resonated with me. And and I've always been that person people come to to ask for advice or just to talk to, which I've always been fine with. And I'm like, you know what? It's time to put myself out there and to help other moms to find themselves. Yeah. So that's why I decided to do the life coaching. Yeah. Um I can help moms. And I've started my own life hyperbina. It is now called Mom's Journey Rise. Um, I'm getting it underway. We're getting ready to do a webinar here within the next couple of weeks. Um, but that's kind of where I'm sitting right now, and I'm waiting for my book, of course, at the publishers to see if they like it or not.

Mel 8:48

Hopefully they do. I'm sure they will.

Carrie 8:51

Yes, yes. So I hope I could do more podcasts like this with you or or the days and let you know what's going on. But yeah, this has been my strength. This has been me finding me. And it's been stressful. I've gone a month without a paycheck, and it's uh challenging, you know.

Mel 9:09

It's difficult. I don't think a lot of people realize that I'm sort of in the the throes of writing a book. I I started, but I really felt the Lord say, hold off. Wait, there's still more things you need to learn and discover before you can finish this book. I'm like, oh, okay. And that was uh towards the end of last year. This year has been nuts. I have learned so much that I'm like, okay, I can see why I got told to hold off. But writing a book alone, I mean, I think Hollywood has probably glorified the whole writer thing, and oh, you're gonna make millions from being an author. And it's like it's coming out of your own pocket doing this stuff. And, you know, even not just writing, then there's life coaching, getting up and running, getting a name out there. Believe me, I understand how hard that is. It's like you're not making a lot of money to begin with. In fact, you're putting all of your money that you have got into this and you're you're paying for it out of your own pocket long enough, but you have to really feel called to doing it. And then the shift happens. At some point, the shift happens because especially if God has called you into it, he's not gonna let you go. He's not gonna let you go broke and you know, screw it all up. You're working and partnering

Seasons Of Healing And Tiny Habits

Mel 10:33

with him, it'll happen, but you've got to be able to hold on and push through. So I'm I'm really curious to hear, particularly from your life coaching perspective, because I can relate a little bit to that. How do you mainly help these moms in what you do?

Carrie 10:52

So, um what I do is I just try to guide moms. You know, I I kind of look at it like seasons. Um, my first season, I was in the darkest of darkest winters. But you know, in the winter, everything's not dead. Actually, everything is just underneath the ground, growing and thriving, waiting to come through. And um even before our winters, maybe we've been in that summer where everything around us and everyone around us is bright and joyful, but we feel that dark inner feelings that we just don't feel that we belong. So through that summer, through that winter comes a spring. And that's what I try to help guide women to is to that spring where you're gonna bloom, you're gonna find yourself and realize that, oh my gosh, I can actually do this. And you know, I I writing my book and and doing all of this at the same time, I didn't find a magic 25th hour. I wish I did. Yeah. That would be I just I just took moments like um after church was the thing that we became doing, was where I got to sit down for two hours, nobody bothered me, and I was able to just write. Um or when I was in the pickup line to pick up my youngest Gracie, um, I would just start writing. I I have gotta love digital because you can just use your text to talk and get things written in there. Yeah. So that it's just finding those little moments, and I think finding that spring. And so I tried to help guide moms into doing that. It's like right now I have a tiny talent going um to try to help. And it's it's really simple, it doesn't cost you anything, I promise. With throughout your busy life, especially you with four, wow. Um find five minutes of your time and maybe just write down three sentences.

Mel 12:41

Okay.

Carrie 12:42

Doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't have to be make sense, it makes sense to you. So, like I started doing this, and that's where my three words uh broken, beloved, and becoming came from Yeah. We are coming from a broken stage. We are beloved by God, and He is letting us know that we are becoming a better person. And that's how I help guide women into finding your own. Um, I don't have the magic, I don't have the secret to life, I promise you.

Mel 13:13

No, I I'll be surprised if anyone does, but yeah.

Carrie 13:18

It's just uh helping women find themselves within the chaos of their in their life, the chaotic, great chaos of their life.

Mel 13:25

Yeah, beautiful.

Carrie 13:27

And it looks different for everybody, but you know, so I mean, like uh just just take that five minutes and and either do that or the other one I say too, the love, the tiny channels that I have, is take uh a few minutes if you're scrolling on Facebook or what have you, and you see somebody that posts something and but you don't know that person, you know, some things pop up, go find a friend. Just pop up and say, Hey, I I like what you said. Let's be friends, let's talk. And there you are, reaching out, and that's the big thing. So yeah. So it and and I'm hoping that it resonates and and I'm hoping that what it will do is just to help women to step into their own and to know that they're not alone and that we are meant to walk together. Yeah, uh definitely this journey is not meant to be walked alone at all. It is meant to be done together.

Mel 14:23

Too hard on you. Too hard on your name. Yeah. And uh I mean, you it was mentioned before that your single mom, all of that. And I think there's a I mean, there's a lot of single moms out there for all varying reasons, but you don't have to be alone in the process. You know, there is support that you can reach out for and get help with. Plus, you know, if you're a Christian, then hopefully you've got the Lord to lean on as well in those moments in your room when it is just you. Yes.

Fear And The Need To Belong

Mel 14:58

So I think it's just really important to know that there is a circle out there that you can belong to, that you can jump in and be welcomed into. And I like that you're creating that space as well for the women that you serve. So it's beautiful.

Carrie 15:14

Yes, most definitely.

Mel 15:17

So, what do you find from your experience is the main thing that holds mums back from just breaking limiting beliefs and patterns or or helping with their identity and a lot of the stuff that you're doing?

Carrie 15:33

Fear.

unknown 15:35

Yeah.

Carrie 15:36

Yeah. We're all afraid that we have to live up to this standard that is put out there that you gotta be this perfect mom. You gotta be this super mom. And and in reality, we are perfect in our own ways, but nobody is absolutely perfect. We're um the only one that's perfect is the Lord. So the biggest thing I I think that's holding a lot of women back is that fear of the unknown, of not being accepted. Because I do remember walking into a room when my kids were little, and and I always felt like I was the only single mom at my kids' schools. Always. I I don't know why. Or I was the one that wasn't dating, because I just didn't put that on my plate. I just didn't want to deal with that. Um, and I just had too much of my own to deal with, and I didn't feel like I belonged at that table. I didn't feel like I needed to go, I could go sit with those women and have a conversation with them because I was not that mom that had the perfect children. So, yeah. So learning that it's okay. I mean, I've had two children out of wedlock. It's okay. It's not going to forgive you, it's not going to hurt you. Some women are very opinionated, and unfortunately, but you gotta learn to take that toxic out of your life and just say, this is me, this is who I have become, this was my journey, and God has forgiven me, and I forgive myself, yeah, and this is it. Accept me as I am.

Mel 17:05

And if the Lord forgive you, if the Lord can forgive you, then who are we to charge or or be any any less? Like, I don't know. I just I it's funny because in my young adult years, you know, studying and all of that, I came across some very different people than the ones I would normally have hung out with. I grew up, you know, Christian school, all of that. And then you go to uni and whatever else, and there's people of all sorts, all sorts. Oh, yeah. So it was a bit of a shock, you know, to begin with. But I became friends with some great people. And even when I studied audio engineering, I mean, that's a predominantly male industry. And I was one of I was one of three women in there. And um, and I I mean I dress like this. Um I'm just you know, normal kind of not girly, but certainly not grungy like a lot of them. And um and it was so interesting because through that experience, I mean, they were lovely, lovely young men. And I, if I just looked at them with their tattoos and missing teeth and everything else, I probably would have judged and gone, they are very scary. But they were also perfect to ride the train home with because nobody touched me when we were finishing class at nine o'clock at night, they escorted me home and I was safe. But that they were fantastic, they were lovely guys, and even that shifted my perspective on on people too. And it got to a point where whether a single mum that's had children out of wedlock or or whatever, I'm just like okay, that's that's part of your story. It doesn't actually define your worth, it is just part of your story, and it's you know, it might have led you to where you are today and a part of who you are today, but your identity when it's grounded in Christ, like you're you're redeemed, you're just as good as me, you know, we're all just as good as each other at the end of the day. You know, he died for you, like he died died for me. And I think sometimes we forget that we get caught up in our own little circles and we think a certain way, and we've been moulded by society a certain way, and we kind of have to just strip that back. And and I've been judged as a Christian many a times because I have made friends with the unsavory people. I say that in quotation marks because I think they're fantastic people. Um, and I'm like, I would much rather be friends with them than with you, to be honest. Like, it's just you know, meet people where they're at, love them where they're at. At the end of the day, I want to stand in front of the Lord and I want him to say, Well done, good and faithful servant. Do you think he's gonna say that if he's like, hey Mal, you judged every single woman that came into your space or every single person just on the way they looked, or whatever. I'm just I know that I've gotta be accountable for my actions, but not just my actions, my thoughts. And it's important to keep that captive. And I've gone off on a tangent and I'm sorry.

Carrie 20:29

You're you're good. No, because that's exactly what it is. Yeah, you know, um you know, we we gotta stop functioning and just start living.

Mel 20:38

Yeah.

Carrie 20:38

And that's the biggest thing too. That that's one of the that's one of my biggest phrases that I use too is stop functioning. Start living. Yeah, just do it. And don't worry about what other people think of you because the only person that matters is God. Yeah, yeah.

Mel 20:53

I used to care so much what people thought of me. So I was touched the people please are and I still want to operate to a level of excellence in what I do, but not to not to please anyone anymore. It's just it's for my own level of satisfaction, but also because I'm everything I do, I do for the Lord. So it's it's just different, you know, and you learn to say no better because every yes comes at a cost, and you know, all those kind of things. So I feel like we're on the very same page with a lot of things that we do. Yes. In your professional opinion, what is one thing that you wish more women knew?

Carrie 21:43

That is one thing. It's odd. The the one thing, um the one thing I wish I had known is that uh there's so many things. Um again, it kind of just comes back to that uh knowing that there's other people like me on. There that maybe not be willing to reach out, but maybe need to find that space to reach out. Yes. Because that was my my biggest and hardest thing was admitting that I needed help. Yeah. I think that's the biggest thing. Is that we we think we got this all. We think we got it. It's fine, you know.

Mel 22:23

Yeah.

Carrie 22:23

We I'm the type of person that holds every single emotion in. Yeah, until you exploit. Until I explode. And then I'm not a very nice person. Yes. And my mother's even called me the lovely B word. And she does the same thing too, which is funny, because we're just alike. My mom's a very set in her ways, seven-year-old lady. And I love her. I love that woman to my dad But you know, I kind of saw it too. It's it's just knowing that you're not alone. I I think is the biggest and hardest thing to learn. And just learning to put yourself out there. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not a I'm I'm not a professional. I I'm I've just lived it and and I'm just going off with my own experiences and what I've done. And I just like to guide because I've been through the seasons. Yeah. And and like right now, I am finding my spring. I'm just getting I'm at the the front of my spring where things are just starting to just start to grow. And that's where I'm at. And it's just finding that headspace and just learning when to say enough is enough.

Mel 23:28

Yeah. But it's also understanding that seasons they circulate and they come and go. And so you you know might be stepping into spring now. There may be a winter ahead, but it doesn't have to be the same as the previous. Like I know for me here, like we don't have snow where we live in in winter, but I know that some winters are way more cold than others, some are a lot more wet than others. You know, it's a little bit different, sort of each year, you don't know what you're kind of gonna get exactly. Exactly. And it's just like winter might come around again, but it doesn't mean it's gonna look the same as the last. And it might end up being a shorter duration, and spring might come early. You you don't know, but it's when I think you mentally prepare a little bit more for the winter, then you can actually start to enjoy the the the quieter seasons. You go, okay, instead of it just being wet and miserable and standing out in the rain, I'm gonna be inside, cozy, warm, rug up. I'm going to make the most of this cave season. And and yeah, just just come back in and and re-energize. So then I'm I'm feeling good and ready for the spring, which will come again.

Carrie 24:52

Yes, no, no, I get you. And I lived in uh Montana for for 10 years. So I I get that cold, you know, 45 blow with the window factors. Um thanks. Just no it we may have the sweater to say supermom, but we don't have to be the super mom. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's the thing. And and yes, with the seasons we come in, they come and they go. There's some are hard, some are uh cold, and some are just blah. Yeah, and we just never know. You just

Taking Up Space Beyond Motherhood

Carrie 25:25

step out of the way from the mask, take the mask down, yeah. And just learn to just be and stop hiding behind the sleeves you have the sacrifices.

Mel 25:34

Yeah, just be you. There's no masquerade ball having to perform for everyone, like just be you. Okay.

Carrie 25:43

Exactly. The other thing that I want to say a takeaway is is that you are allowed to take up space in your own life. Yes, I'm the other thing is don't forget that you are a person too. Yeah. You're not just mom, you're not just the chef, you're not just the chauffeur. You need to remember many hats.

Mel 26:05

You are still Carrie, you are still Mel, you are still Sandy, Susie, Ellie.

Carrie 26:11

It doesn't matter who you are. And you know, there was a point that I did lose myself on all of that too, raising the kids. Because when the kids like, I think my son had turned 22 at that point. Uh, or Kaylee just graduated high school, somewhere around there. And somebody said, What kind of hobbies do you like? And I looked at him and said, I don't know. I don't know who I am anymore. You had asked me that before kids. I was out horseback riding, I was out dancing, I was out doing clubbing. You know, before kids, I was fun. I was out having fun. I I was dancing and being on my horses. And but then I'm looking at my life going, what am I doing? I am I'm I have no hobbies. Yeah. I don't even I honestly still haven't figured out all my hobbies yet, but that's okay.

Mel 26:59

That's fun in the discovery.

Carrie 27:02

But the biggest one, like right now, is I take my young my uh my my Gracie's homeschooled um because of everything. It's just so we have Disney passes. So two days a week, we go down to Disney and we just walk. We pick a park and we walk and we just kind of go hang out. And I worked at Disney for seven years. Yes. Well, it took me a lot. I've only been in Florida for 14 years, 13 years. Yeah, yeah, 13 years, something like that. I moved here from um, I was lived at the time I was living in Northern California for a while. And that's where I originate from.

Mel 27:34

This is the other side of the country. My goodness. 3,000 miles.

Carrie 27:39

Yeah, I know my geography.

Florida, Disney, And Starting Over

Carrie 27:42

Yeah. It takes you six days. I've traveled it back and forth between each coast three times now in my life. Wow. Wow. It's beautiful, it's gorgeous. But that's why I originally from originally in my entire life. I was born in Northern California. That's where my parents started, that's where I started.

Mel 28:00

So why move to Florida?

Carrie 28:03

So in um 2007, I was kind of in this weird stage. My mom was still grieving after my dad, because my my dad died um 2002. Uh Vietnam vet, Agent Orange. Um, and you know, they've been married for like almost 30, 32 years, and they had that fairy tale romance. They met on a blind date.

Mel 28:25

Wow.

Carrie 28:26

He took her to prom because she got stood up and my uncle Bobby knew. It's like we're just got out of the yeah, he just got out of the uh Vietnam and just came home, and he took my mom to the prom and I put it as the he asked her for a dance under the stars, and they never stopped dancing because they were married three months later, and almost 30 years before dad finally. Yeah, and it's just me and my older sister. So um, I love my sister to pieces. Um, but she so in 2007, at that point, we were just kind of like, it's cold in Montana. Let's go take a trip with Florida. We all wanted to go see Disney World. Yeah. So we started like planning an actual trip to come to Florida, and we came, and I've always been asthmatic and in the cold, I it made me sick.

Mel 29:15

That's horrible.

Carrie 29:16

Yeah. The first week, the whole week we were here in Florida, I didn't use my inhaler once.

Mel 29:21

Wow, you could breathe properly. Oh my gosh.

Carrie 29:25

So we went back home after that, and I'm like, okay, that's it. I need to live there. Yeah. That's all there is to it. I just need to live there. So it took us seven years, but I came back. Wow. Uh and then that time I had another trial. He's still breathing well. I'm breathing great. It's great. The only bad days is when we had like these really cold winters where we got, I think it was like 30 degrees with the wind chills around here. That's cold. Yeah, that's Fahrenheit and Florida. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing is I wanted to be at Disney. I wanted to work at Disney. That was my thing. I really, really wanted to work at Disney. And I did have a job at Disney. I was a character attendant for almost seven, eight years. Yeah. Um, but after COVID, it just kind of became a thing. And a lot of the terrorists. You can imagine I was yeah, I was working Disney um three days a week. I was working at Universal three days a week.

Mel 30:24

Oh.

Carrie 30:25

For seven years.

Mel 30:27

Yeah, that would have suffered a lot.

Carrie 30:31

Yes. So it was only on Sundays that I had a day to like breathe. But on those Sundays, because it was the only day I really had with all the kids,

Neurodiversity, Unschooling, And Life Skills

Carrie 30:39

they didn't have school or anything. We went to the theme parks. Exactly. So I never got a break from them. Yeah. But that's why we came.

Mel 30:48

And look, now they've pretty much grown up and got their own lives. I mean, they still got your youngest, but it's time goes so fast, doesn't it?

Carrie 30:57

It does, it does. I mean, uh, my son's in um, he's he got a job through a friend of ours that worked at uh that I met through the church. There's another thing. Um, because uh my son's on he's on the high level of uh high functioning autism, and um, he has a speech impediment, which makes it really hard for him to speak sometimes because this he has a really bad stutter. Yeah. So he has a really hard time like functioning and getting to people.

Mel 31:20

Yeah.

Carrie 31:21

I met this woman at one of these mom co groups that decided to come from another group. Come to find out her husband ran a construction business and took on kids like him. So at 25, they hired him. Well and they love him. He's still there.

Mel 31:37

I think when you're given a chance, you're just given a chance to just be a normal person, you know, just treated normally. It's amazing what you can achieve, like just to be given a chance, you know, and just respected, you know, respected. It's oh yeah, it makes a huge difference.

Carrie 31:57

Yes. And then that's what I'm doing with my youngest. My my middle one, she's a assistant manager at a retail store and is doing amazing. She's worked her way up that way. And then with my youngest, uh, we were in regular school for a while, but it got to the point where they're like, well, she's not gonna graduate because she's gotta do this and this and this and this. And I'm like, she can't do that. She just she does not have the functionality to do that. Um, like you and I could. So I pulled her out and we do unschooling and we have fun just being us. And yeah, I mean, her her her schooling is learning how to do laundry, knowing, you know, how much to measure, how to cook. I make her make uh grocery list for the week for herself. No, and then she has to tell me what she needs. She has to budget it because I give her a budget a week of what she gets. And then we go online and we own it. Exactly. And we go online and we order it. She gets an allowance and she knows what she wants. And I say, Well, if you want this but you don't have enough, maybe you should save your allowance.

Mel 32:57

So perfect life life skills. Yeah. What we need in our life. And what they don't teach at school.

Carrie 33:07

It's the last class she liked was a finance class of teaching her how to use finances.

Mel 33:12

Yeah. So it's look, and it doesn't matter whether it's autism, whether it's any other form of neurodivergent thing, you give them the right tools to succeed in life. And they will, not just the right tools, but the love and the support, and you know, just give them a fair go. She can have a very successful, happy life. And that's what you want at the end of the day as a parent, right? Like exactly. I mean, my kids go to a private school and they are, you know, very academically minded, the school is. Um, but it's a great Christian school, and um, and it's literally up the road from us, so it's convenient. But um I don't put that pressure on them academically. My eldest, he is uh also on the spectrum and and he is very academically minded, mathematics, computers, all that kind of stuff. Right. So academics is good for him in that sense. Um, my second, not so much. But I it doesn't matter which kid, I don't put that pressure on them. At the end of the day, as long as they give their best and they've got the right attitude, then they can succeed in life. Because I care more about having an attitude and trying, even if it's hard, and you know, learning the the things that are actually going to get you somewhere in life, rather than a piece of paper that goes, hey, I graduated and you know, like whoop-de-doo. It's at the end of the day, even if they don't graduate, it it still means absolutely nothing for your worth or who you are or who you will become. It might take longer to get somewhere, might be a little bit harder because society's rules on things. Yes. But if God's called you to something then and and you're obedient in it, then the doors will open, things will happen, and he's never gonna ask you to do something that you weren't created for in the first place. So you know, it's it'll be fine. Like just enjoy being ten and seven. Just don't worry about what all the other kids are doing and all the extra, you know, competitions and things that they're part of and winning distinctions on I don't care. I don't care.

Carrie 35:34

Right, right. We just want them to be happy and healthy and enjoy their lives as much as we have. And and you know, we we may have hit our bumps, they're gonna hit their bumps. Um, my son went through a year of major, he lost his job at Universal. Um, he was working there for four years, and then it he just he went into this deep dark stage. He went into his dark winter. And he hid in his room for almost a year.

Mel 36:00

Wow.

Carrie 36:01

I barely saw that kid. And then when I got him that job, I'm like, look, you need to get I made it, I kind of pushed him. I'm like, look, you need to do something. You're almost 26 years old, and you need to figure this out or 25. Give it a go. You need to figure the slash. I said, Here, I got an opportunity for you. You're gonna go meet uh this person, his name is Reed, and you're gonna go get a job. Yeah. Plain and simple. Yeah. And that moment, sometimes you have to push your kids a little bit more than what you want. But tough love is a thing. It is. All right. But again, that's something that that you have to resonate as a mom. Yeah. And that's another thing where we lose ourselves into it thinking, I gotta take care of this child, I gotta take care of this child. And I was there, and I was focusing mainly on my oldest and my youngest because they have their own challenges. Yeah. And my middle daughter, she doesn't have any challenges. She's she's my smart one. She's I always tease her, I always tell her she's my normal child. Um, you know, you know, what normal could be. But it was like for a while, she kind of got lost in the shuffle. Yeah. I always with the middle ones too. Yeah. And and you know, and for a long time I was focused on her because she was born two and a half months or 12 and a half weeks early. So right after I lost her sister at 25 weeks. Yeah. Well, I lost her sister at 25 weeks, and then Kaylee Marie decided to come at 28 weeks. Wow. Um at two pounds. So we lived in the NICU for like two months and 24 days. We were two pounds when we were born.

Mel 37:36

I'd have to think about how expensive that would be in the US. Fire out.

Carrie 37:40

Uh thank God for uh the lovely in Montana. They were born in Montana, my my two oldest. Yeah. There was a program that they took care of it. There was actually um another program called um Angels of Care. And they actually paid for my traveling. They paid for me to have a room right next to the NICU because the NICU was two and a half hours from where I lived.

Mel 38:05

And I had a two-year-old who was very hard. Very hard to beat in.

Carrie 38:09

Yeah, and to go up, luckily thank God she was born in like the summer. She was born in May. Because if it was winter, you have to go through this canyon to get there from my place that was always had black eyes. And I drove it when my father had a stroke, but too scary.

Mel 38:24

Too scary.

Carrie 38:26

It was, it was very scary. It was hard enough driving to get there. And I had an emergency C section, so I couldn't even drive.

Mel 38:33

Wow.

Carrie 38:33

After I had to stay in the hospital like an extra two days because I had to, you know, I had sincerely. Yeah, I met her when she was three hours old. They metabacked her up to the NICU, and I didn't get to see her again until she was three days old. And they literally gave her 72 hours to live.

Mel 38:50

And I'm like Oh my gosh. Oh, sorry.

Carrie 38:55

Sorry. You got me into that story.

Where To Find The Book And Connect

Carrie 38:59

That's um a lot of this is in my book. Um, but um I'm gonna go more into depth with that on.

Mel 39:09

I do a lot to share. I do. We just don't have the time to go into all of it now, unfortunately. But if someone does want to hear your story and get their hands on their book and get maybe in touch with you, where's the best place to find you?

Carrie 39:27

I am on Amazon. Um, if you search my name, Carrie Newport, uh, you will find my book Reflections. Uh and in there, it is a book, it is written in third person because I wasn't ready to write it as me. Um, so it is a journey of my persona named Christy. Yeah. And it's all the trials and tribulations that I went through and how I grew up with amazing parents, and then through all of my hardships and everything. And I feel like if if you feel that anything you resonate with it at all, shoot me an email. Shoot me uh, I'm on Facebook. Come find me on Facebook. Um, and I would love to speak with them about it. But it's it's you can buy if you have um Kindle Unlimited, it costs you zero dollars. Um or you can purchase the e-copy for uh ten dollars US.

Mel 40:18

Easy, cheap. Yes, nothing. Yes, all the time and effort that goes into it.

Carrie 40:25

I I just want to make sure everybody can have it. I just really want to make sure they can even order a paperback, and I think the paperback is 15. So because you gotta pay for the paper and stuff. But yeah, other than that, just go read it. Go tell me, you know, find it. Yeah, you can find me. I even have an author space out there.

Mel 40:45

Yeah, yeah. It's always great being able to connect with the author. So that doesn't happen very much.

Carrie 40:52

No, no, please. I I would love to speak more about it. I mean, I get to ear all day and talk to you about it.

Mel 40:57

Yeah.

Carrie 40:58

Um but I know it's late for you and it's early for me.

Mel 41:02

Yes, it it is getting late, but that's okay. I have really enjoyed talking to you and thank you so much for taking the time out to come on the show, share a bit of your story, get to know you a little bit, and some of your advice and wisdom helping the mums out there. So thank you so much for your time.

Carrie 41:19

Yeah, and just remember the last thing is that your healing is going to be the greatest gifts you give to your children, your community, and your future.

Mel 41:27

I love that. Thank you so much for all the wisdom that you've imparted to us today.

Carrie 41:34

You're welcome. I hope you guys have a wonderful day, and thank you so much for having me. And um, hopefully I'll come back to you when the other book gets published.

Mel 41:40

Oh, sounds good. Yeah. Hopefully it's not too far away. Yeah, good luck with that. All right, thank you.

Carrie 41:53

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Mel 41:56

If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. And if you want to continue the conversation, you can connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or for some free resources, head over to beyondorganised.com/toolkit. Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it. See you next time.